By now, it’s a truth many women know well: Sex has not only the potential to be wildly pleasurable, but supportive of our well-being, too. But what about the effects of not having sex? We know less about that—which is why we’re diving deep into that question today.

For all of the fantastic stories about how regularly engaging in sex can cut cortisol levels, improve sleep, decrease pain, and improve immunity, I’m occasionally left wondering about the effects of a break in regularity—aka a dreaded “dry spell.” I recently came across an article detailing what happens to your body when you stop having sex, and it encouraged me to seek out other expert advice.

Feature image by Michelle Nash.

Understanding the Effects of Not Having Sex

As a woman whose entire pre-college education was at Catholic schools, any sex-positive literature, podcasts, and beyond have been a beacon to me as an adult. There was so much I appreciated about the Catholic school environment, but shedding the veil of shame around certain acts, particularly sexual ones, has been a valuable personal process—one aided by the idea that sexual health is about more than just avoiding diseases and unplanned pregnancies. It’s also recognizing that sex should be an important, beneficial part of life.

Read on for some of my most notable discoveries, as well as insights from our team’s resident health and wellness expert, certified nurse midwife Lauren Zielinski (MSN, CNM), for those looking to break a dry spell.

Lauren Zielinski, MSN, CNM

Lauren Zielinski is a certified nurse-midwife with over 11 years of experience in women’s health and birth. She studied medicine at The University of Colorado-Denver with a focus on community health and birth center work.

The Mental and Emotional Impact of a Dry Spell

It’s no secret that sex can be a mood booster, but what happens on an emotional level when things slow down or come to a stop?

For many, sex isn’t just a physical act. It’s a form of connection, intimacy, or even confidence. So when you stop having sex, it’s natural for your emotional state to shift in ways that might not be immediately obvious. Some people report feeling more irritable, anxious, or disconnected from themselves or their partner. Others may notice a dip in self-esteem or a subtle (but real) sense of loneliness, even if surrounded by love in other areas of life.

It’s important to remember that a dry spell doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It’s simply a signal to check in—with your body, your emotional needs, or how connected you’re feeling to community. If you’re feeling off, you might ask yourself: What kind of touch, intimacy, or attention am I missing right now? Sometimes, a hug from a friend, a long bath, or even dancing in your living room can bring you back into your body and brighten your mood.

And for those not in relationships, or who are choosing not to have sex for any reason, know this: You are whole and emotionally fulfilled with or without sex. Keep prioritizing ways you do feel nourished through physical or emotional connection, and making space for your own sense of self to thrive.

Blood Pressure and Stress Levels May Increase

Sex provides a regular release of endorphins. If that isn’t happening, then corresponding levels of stress may increase. Fortunately, there are other active ways to achieve similar results. Consider substituting healthy, heart-pumping exercise for sessions between the sheets. Think movement, breath, and pleasure in other forms. A brisk post-work walk, a heart-opening yoga flow, or your favorite morning workout session can all increase blood flow—offering many of the same cardiovascular and stress-reducing benefits that sex does.

“If you’re feeling really overwhelmed, insanely busy, and are never in the mood for sex and want to change that,” Zielinski says, “then it’s time to activate your self-care defense mode.” She advises dropping one or two commitments that aren’t crucial, penciling in “me time” on the calendar, and remembering that it’s okay to say no.

It’s not just about doing less—it’s about doing what restores you. Whether that’s a solo hike, a mindful moment with your coffee, or finally saying no to the group chat that drains you, lowering your stress levels is an act of daily maintenance. And while sex can help, so can a thousand small choices that bring you back to yourself.

Navigating Menopause? Here’s What to Know About Vaginal Health

Menopause is the rite of passage that no one quite prepares you for. And while talk about hot flashes and mood swings is common, one of the more overlooked topics is how vaginal health can also shift during this time, especially if sex (solo or partnered) isn’t happening regularly.

Board-certified OB/GYN Lucky Sekhon, MD, explained to Well+Good that when there are long periods without regular sex, the vaginal canal can tighten, “which can lead to thinning of vaginal tissue and predisposition towards tearing [and] bleeding during sex.” Not exactly the “freedom years” vibe we were hoping for.

The good news? There are gentle, proactive ways to support your body through these changes. During a recent conversation with Dr. Macrene Alexiades about beauty and wellness trends, she emphasized that regular sexual activity—or masturbation—can help maintain the health and elasticity of the vaginal lining. It’s a form of self-care we don’t talk about enough.

And if things are feeling a little less than comfortable? Let’s officially retire the myth that painful sex is just something to accept. A natural, body-safe lubricant can make all the difference. There’s no shame in reaching for a little extra support. Your body deserves compassion, curiosity, and care during every stage in life. Menopause is no exception.

It May Become Harder to Get Turned On

It turns out, desire isn’t always spontaneous. It’s often a habit. Like so many things in life (working out, meditating, drinking water), the more regularly you engage with your sexual self, the more naturally that spark tends to show up. So if it’s been a while since your last encounter and you’re finding it harder to get turned on, you’re not alone.

Like so many things, the desire for sex generally follows the rules of inertia: A person having sex will continue to desire sex, while a person not having sex may no longer have that need. “For some, this will have the effect that it becomes harder to get turned on, even if you want to,” sexologist Carol Queen, PhD shared with Well+Good. In other words, sexual energy often builds on itself—so taking a long break can sometimes make getting back into the groove feel a little… stuck.

That might sound discouraging, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel. A 2014 study published in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality suggests that desire plays a big role in the overall quality of sex. Meaning: Cultivating a sense of longing or curiosity around sex—through fantasy, touch, flirtation, or simply tuning into your body—isn’t just important, it can make the whole experience more satisfying when you do choose to engage. Sometimes, the desire comes after we create the space for it.

The Surprising Benefits of Not Having Sex

In a world that often equates sex with wellness, success, or even self-worth, choosing not to have sex—whether for a season or indefinitely—can feel like swimming upstream. But a dry spell isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, taking a break from sex can come with its own unexpected gifts.

For starters, stepping away from sexual activity can offer space for clarity and self-reflection. Without the physical and emotional entanglements that can sometimes come with sex, many people find it easier to tune into their intuition, process past experiences, or reconnect with themselves in a deeper way. It can be a time to rediscover what you want, what lights you up, and what kind of connection you truly crave without outside pressure or expectation.

There are also practical benefits: more time, more energy, and often less emotional stress (especially if past experiences have felt complicated or unfulfilling). If you’re healing from a breakup, exploring celibacy, or simply reprioritizing your own well-being, this time can be an act of radical self-love.

When a Dry Spell Might Be a Sign to Check In

There are a wide variety of reasons—all perfectly normal—why we might go through a dry spell. Sometimes, however, a long-term dry spell might be worth a closer look.

If you’ve lost interest in sex and can’t quite explain why, consider what else might be going on beneath the surface. A sudden or extended dip in libido can sometimes be linked to things like hormonal imbalances, chronic stress, depression, anxiety, or even side effects from medication. If sex used to be something you enjoyed and now it feels out of reach—or off your radar entirely—it may be time to check in with a trusted healthcare provider.

Consider Zielinski’s guide to boosting your libido. (Expect a few surprising ideas.) And consider her thoughts on when to try sex therapy, and even meditating before sex.

And if sex simply isn’t something you’re craving right now? That’s okay, too. There’s no universal timeline or “should” when it comes to desire. What matters most is that you feel empowered to check in with yourself and get support if you need it—whatever that looks like for you.

This post was last updated on April 26, 2025 to include new insights.

The post Taking a Break from Sex? Here’s How to Reclaim Pleasure, Confidence, and Calm appeared first on Camille Styles.

If your sexual self-esteem could use a boost, join the club. Maybe you’re postpartum, navigating a totally absent libido. Or, you’re in the thick of perimenopause, a stranger in your own skin. Or, you’re struggling to feel sexy in a world that constantly undermines a softer body (sending virtual hugs!). No matter your circumstance, it’s easy to assume something is “wrong” with your sexual health—or that it’s somehow missing the mark. But your sexuality isn’t static. It ebbs and flows. And it’s okay to be in a season of stagnation. Fortunately, greater sexual self-esteem is well within reach. Where to start? Choosing curiosity over criticism.

The Disconnection No One Talks About

After my first son was born, I remember feeling a deep disconnect from my body’s rhythm. Pregnancy (along with diastasis recti and an emergency cesarean) radically transformed my physical existence. Sex? Not a blip on the radar. My libido wasn’t the same. My body felt foreign. It took time—over a year, really—to reconnect with myself in a way that felt safe and authentic. Maybe that same disconnect resonates with you. Whether you’re recovering from childbirth, managing extra stress, or navigating hormonal shifts, don’t fret if your sexual self-esteem is out of whack. Like improving any area of your life, compassion is key.

Listen to Your Body’s Signals

If you know, you know: When you’re in an overwhelming season of life, it’s hard to tune into your body’s needs. It doesn’t come naturally. However, tapping into your body’s signals (I.e. recognizing when you need to be alone, get more sleep, or call a supportive friend) is a foundational part of self-acceptance. To begin, start small. Take a seat and scan your body. What sensations do you feel? What is your heart quietly whispering to you? Ultimately, don’t push yourself to have sex if you aren’t ready. Instead, explore a different way to nurture your sensuality. For example, that might mean practicing deep breathing on your yoga mat or drawing a bath before bed.

Break Free from Society’s “Ideal”

Once you begin tuning into your body’s real needs (without judgment) you’ll start to see just how much of your inner narrative has been shaped by outside influences. There’s so much power in releasing the belief that there’s an “ideal” libido to live up to. Unfortunately, culture, social media—even friends—can make you question what your sexuality should look like. But the truth? Your desires are entirely your own. Reclaiming your sexual self-esteem starts with honoring that truth. Not someone else’s version of it.

Self-Pleasure: A Path to Confidence and Connection

Let’s talk about self-pleasure. And no, not just for that coveted release. Self-pleasure is equally about feeling safe, empowered, and in tune with your body. It’s a form of self-care—a chance to reclaim confidence and deepen your intuition.

1. Building Body Trust

Self-pleasure can feel like coming home to yourself. Especially after major transitions like birth, burnout, or body changes. Start by shifting the goal. It’s not about orgasm. It’s about curiosity. Maybe that means gently massaging your skin after a shower or spending a few quiet minutes just noticing how your body feels.

You might ask: What feels good today? What textures or rhythms bring me comfort? Let this be a space without rules, without expectations. Over time, as you explore what sensations feel pleasurable (and which don’t), you build body trust. And that trust is the foundation for sexual confidence—with yourself and with a partner.

Try this: Light a candle, take 5-10 minutes in a calm space, and gently explore your body with your hands or a favorite tool. Focus on breath, sensation, and staying present.

2. Explore What Feels Good

If your libido feels low or inconsistent, you’re not broken. Bodies change. Desires shift. The most empowering thing you can do is approach your body with compassion. Self-pleasure gives you space to explore, slowly and intentionally. Experiment with different times of day, new types of touch, even gentle movement like pelvic tilts or hip circles. Some days might feel sensual; other days may not. Both are valid. There’s no “right” way to feel pleasure. The more you tune into your body with kindness, the easier it becomes to meet it where it’s at.

Try this: Put on music you love. Lightly trace your skin while breathing deeply. Notice what areas crave more touch and which feel sensitive. No goal, no rush. Just awareness.

Your desires are entirely your own. Reclaiming your sexual self-esteem starts with honoring that truth. Not someone else’s version of it.

Lean Into Vulnerability

Of course, we can’t talk about sexual health without talking about emotional health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or sluggish, it’s going to be really challenging to tap into your sexual energy. One of the most liberating things I’ve done is to open up conversations with my husband. Sharing how I was feeling—disconnected, insecure, or simply exhausted—helped us find new ways to support each other. It created space for deeper intimacy, even when sex wasn’t on the table. Remember, being vulnerable is a powerful thing. Sharing what you’re experiencing creates space for a more fulfilling, compassionate connection.

Embracing Exactly Where You Are

I want to leave you with this: Your sexuality doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. There’s no “right” way to feel, and there’s no timeline for how things “should” go. Your sexual health and intimacy are an evolving part of your journey, and there’s no rush to get it perfect. Be kind to yourself, honor your unique experience, and remember that your body is always worthy of love, care, and attention—on your terms.

Edie Horstman

Edie is the founder of nutrition coaching business, Wellness with Edie. With her background and expertise, she specializes in women’s health, including fertility, hormone balance, and postpartum wellness.

The post Navigating Low Libido? Here’s How to Reclaim Your Sexual Self-Esteem appeared first on Camille Styles.

As a longtime rom-com lover, I spent years imagining what dating in my twenties would look like. Maybe I’d be at my favorite bar in the Twin Cities, and someone would send over a drink. Or perhaps I’d accidentally bump into someone at my weekend coffee shop, spilling coffee and sparking a flirty conversation. Or even better—a meet-cute in a bookstore, bonding over Wuthering Heights with a hipster glasses-clad stranger. Moral of the story, figuring out how to put yourself out there seemed like a foreign concept to me.

Spoiler alert: None of these things actually happen.

If, by some cosmic miracle, they have happened to you, then know that I’m truly happy for you. But for the rest of us just trying to figure out how to put yourself out there and actually date in 2025, here’s the truth—dating is hard.

Dating Is Hard, but It’s Worth It

Before you accuse me of being a Debbie Downer, let me clarify: Dating is hard, but it’s also fun, challenging, and exciting. Anything that pushes us outside our comfort zones usually is.

When I talk to friends in the dating scene, I hear the same sighs and frustrations—especially about dating apps. Swiping left and right can be exhausting, and often, nothing comes of it. While apps work for some (shoutout to my friends who found love online!), they’re not for everyone. If you’re wondering how to put yourself out there beyond just swiping, here’s what’s worked for me.

1. Get Out of the House

Prince Charming isn’t going to break into your house (that would be breaking and entering). As a proud introvert, this realization hit me hard. If I actually wanted to meet people, I needed to leave my house.

Case in point: A few weeks ago, I was set on a cozy night in when a friend invited me to check out a new restaurant with her and her husband. Usually, I’d say no—she knows I love my alone time—but in the spirit of putting myself out there, I went. One of her husband’s friends joined us, and a week later, I ended up on a date with him.

I wasn’t looking for a date, but by simply showing up, I created an opportunity I’d have otherwise missed. Lesson learned: Saying yes to plans (even ones that seem small) can open unexpected doors.

2. Tell People You’re Single (Yes, Really)

Have you ever noticed that when someone asks, “Are you seeing anyone?” and you say no, they look disappointed? Like they need to reassure you that “the right person will come along.”

Instead of feeling awkward, own it. Heck, yes, I’m single—single as a Pringle and ready to mingle. (Yes, I’ve actually said that out loud.)

And don’t stop there. If a friend asks about your relationship status, flip it back on them: “Know anyone great you’d set me up with?” You don’t have to ask everyone, but by putting the idea out there, you’re working within a trusted network. Even if they don’t have someone in mind immediately, you’ve planted a seed.

3. Put Your Phone Away and Talk to People

We’re so glued to our phones that we often miss potential connections. If you’re always in “do not disturb” mode with headphones in and eyes locked on a screen, you’re not exactly giving off “come talk to me” energy.

Try this: Next time you’re out running errands or grabbing coffee, put your phone away. Make eye contact, smile, and say hi to a stranger. It feels terrifying at first, but small moments of connection can lead to something more.

Where to Put Yourself Out There

• In Your Community: I see the same guy in my apartment building every evening. For months, we ignored each other. Then, I started small—holding the elevator door, asking if he was done with a machine at the gym. Now, we chat regularly.
• At Church: Faith-based communities naturally encourage social interaction, whether through small groups or volunteer work.
• In Local Groups: Volunteering, cultural associations, or neighborhood events connect you with like-minded people.
• At Book Clubs: Discussing a book creates easy conversation starters—and could lead to deeper connections.

4. It’s About the Journey, Not Just the Destination

I work in an office of mostly married women, and they all tell me the same thing: The second you stop looking, you’ll meet someone.

Part of me believes this—many of my biggest life moments happened when I wasn’t obsessing over them. But another part of me knows that meeting people requires effort.

The reality? You get out of dating what you put into it. That doesn’t mean making it a full-time job, but it does mean giving yourself opportunities to meet people.

Practical Tips to Put Yourself Out There

• Set Small Goals: One friend challenged herself to go on four dates in a year. It wasn’t a huge number, but it helped her get comfortable. Your goal could be anything—being more vulnerable in conversations, planning a unique date, or just talking to new people.
• Join Something and Participate: Whether it’s a rec sports league, a volunteer group, or a hobby club, getting involved expands your social circle. Even if you don’t meet a romantic interest, you’re still broadening your network.
• Say “Yes” More Often: If you instinctively say no to plans outside your comfort zone, try saying yes more. That doesn’t mean forcing yourself into miserable situations—just embracing opportunities you might otherwise pass up.
• Be Open to Different People: Sticking to a specific “type” can limit your chances. The best connections often come from unexpected places.
• Improve Your Body Language: Crossed arms, avoiding eye contact, and closed-off posture make you less approachable. Smiling and maintaining open body language can make a big difference.
• Love Your Single Self: It’s easy to feel “behind” when friends are settling down, but the most attractive thing is being content with your own life. Confidence is magnetic.

Final Thoughts: Dating Isn’t a Science

There’s no magic formula for how to put yourself out there. What works for one person won’t work for another. The key is finding an approach that feels right for you—and remembering that dating is about the process, not just the outcome.

So, what have you learned about putting yourself out there? Drop your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear your experiences!

This post was last updated on April 5, 2025 to include new insights.

The post How To Put Yourself Out There Without Using a Dating App appeared first on Camille Styles.

My husband doesn’t really care when I dutifully report to my daily cleaning apps to keep a tidy home that serves our family. It matters not to him if I meal plan at the beginning of the week to take the guesswork out of dinner. But when we sit down to discuss our schedules, our kids, how we’re feeling in our relationship, and so many more things in our weekly marriage meeting, he is totally invested. Just last night, I swear he was batting eyes at me as we sat on the couch, discussing our future plans.

If you’re at all familiar with the five love languages, chances are you just guessed mine—and most certainly, his.

Understanding Love Languages

Knowing your primary love language is just the first step. Mine is acts of service; his is quality time. And while he does appreciate the small things I do to keep our home running smoothly, those aren’t the actions that make him feel the most loved. That’s where the second step comes in: learning to speak your partner’s love language—aka, your “secondary language.”

What are the five love languages?

The five love languages, as introduced by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in The Five Love Languages: The Secret to a Love That Lasts, are different ways we give and receive love:

• Physical Touch
• Quality Time
• Gifts
• Words of Affirmation
• Acts of Service

Chapman developed this framework through years of marriage counseling and studying how people communicate love. Understanding your love language and your partner’s can unlock a deeper connection and make both of you feel more valued in your relationship.

Why Knowing Your Love Language Matters

We all want our partners to feel loved, but Chapman takes it a step further: When we feel fully loved, our potential expands. When your “love tank” is full, you’re more confident, motivated, and emotionally secure.

When we speak our partner’s love language, we foster a relationship that thrives beyond the initial “honeymoon phase.” Chapman suggests that the “true love” phase typically lasts about two years. When you first fall in love with someone, you’re more likely to speak your love loudly. Staying up all night on the phone, holding hands in public, dropping by surprise gifts, booking weekends away, and more. It’s hard to decipher what truly makes you feel loved when you’re on the receiving end of all of it.

After that, intentional love takes over—the kind that sees, sacrifices, and stays consistent. That’s when the good stuff happens, a rich well of deep love that goes beyond the butterflies.

Love languages can be a valuable tool to get you to that next phase.

How to Find Your Love Language

If you’re unsure of your love language, take the official quiz online. But quizzes aren’t the only way—pay attention to what makes you feel most appreciated and valued. Do you light up when your partner spends uninterrupted time with you? Do small gestures mean the world to you? Observe yourself to understand which love language resonates the most—a similar approach to truly understanding another powerful too, your Enneagram number.

Most people have a primary and a secondary love language. While you might resonate with more than one, chances are one will feel the most meaningful.

Love Languages Explained

Let’s break down each love language and how to use it effectively in your relationship.

Quality Time

If quality time is your love language, you feel most loved when:

• Your partner looks you in the eye and truly listens when you speak.
• You get to spend uninterrupted time together—whether it’s a walk, a dinner date, or a weekend getaway.
• Your partner engages in activities you enjoy.

How to show love to a partner who values quality time:

• Give them your full attention—put away distractions.
• Schedule regular date nights or quality conversations.
• Plan an activity you know they’ll love.

Start small by giving them your full attention when they’re talking. If you can’t give them your attention, let them know you want to be fully present and you just need x-amount of minutes to wrap up what you’re doing.

Take it a step further and schedule a date night or put a weekend getaway on the calendar. Even better if it features an activity (walking, painting, watching football, etc.) that you know your partner enjoys.

Gifts

If gifts are your love language, you feel most loved when:

• Your partner brings home a thoughtful souvenir from a trip.
• You receive a handwritten note or a small token “just because.”
• Unexpected gifts make you feel seen and appreciated.

How to show love to a partner who values gifts:

• Pick up their favorite coffee or treat on the way home.
• Surprise them with small, meaningful presents.
• Give gifts that reflect thought and effort, not just expense.

It’s important to debunk the idea that a gift-lover is selfish or vain. For the person whose love language is gifts, the driving force is the idea that you thought of them or considered them. And that’s exactly where to start small: think of the person you love the next time you’re at the grocery store or on a walk. Grab their favorite chocolate bar at the checkout or pick a flower for them on the way home. Gift-giving doesn’t always need to be a grand gesture.

Take it a step further by showing your appreciation more regularly, not just for special occasions. Challenge yourself to give your partner a gift every day for a week and just see what happens.

Words of Affirmation

If words of affirmation are your love language, you feel most loved when:

• You receive genuine compliments and encouragement.
• Your partner expresses appreciation for what you do.
• A simple “I love you” or “I’m proud of you” brightens your day.

How to show love to a partner who values words of affirmation:

• Offer compliments and encouragement regularly.
• Express gratitude for both big and small things.
• Leave love notes or send meaningful texts.

Start small by acknowledging to yourself that words matter more than you realize. Keep these thoughts on your mind and pay attention to how you use them. Begin by giving praise and compliments—and then keep them coming.

Even though it might not come naturally to you, “words of affirmation” is a language you can learn. By offering encouragement and kind words regularly, you will feel more natural, and your partner will feel the love.

Acts of Service

If acts of service are your love language, you feel most loved when:

• Your partner helps with daily tasks without being asked.
• They take on responsibilities that ease your burden.
• Thoughtful actions—like running an errand or fixing something broken—show they care.

How to show love to a partner who values acts of service:

• Identify what tasks stress them out and offer to help.
• Take over a recurring chore to lighten their load.
• Anticipate their needs and act on them.

Start small by pinpointing the thing your partner complains about the most—is it doing the laundry? Keeping a clean car? Paying bills? Offer to help or better yet, just do it.

Take it further by removing one ongoing task from your partner’s plate. Maybe it’s helping with the chores by owning all lawn maintenance or unloading the dishwasher every morning. Bonus points if you can take something they dislike doing. You’ll make them feel cared for by creating more space and room in their daily routine for doing things they love.

Physical Touch

If physical touch is your love language, you feel most loved when:

• Your partner holds your hand, hugs you, or cuddles.
• A simple touch—like a hand on your back—feels reassuring.
• Physical closeness strengthens your emotional connection.

How to show love to a partner who values physical touch:

• Offer hugs and kisses frequently.
• Hold hands while walking or sitting together.
• Initiate physical intimacy and affection regularly.

Start small by giving hugs just because. Grab your partner’s hand when you’re out in public. Steal kisses. Smack their butt.

Take it a step further by being the one to initiate sex. Learn what your partner likes (and what you like!) and don’t be afraid to show your love through physical affection.

Should you read The Five Love Languages book?

If you’re already familiar with the concept, then the book serves as a simple guide but may feel outdated in parts. Instead of reading, invest your time in applying the principles—observing, learning, and adapting to your partner’s needs.

Can love languages change over time?

Unlike your Enneagram number, a person’s love language can change over time. Life’s changing circumstances can change the way we give and receive love, from different seasons to personal growth to our environments and how we move within them.

Here are a few reasons love languages may evolve:

• Big Life Transitions: Becoming a parent, moving to a new place, changing careers, or caring for a parent can all alter your emotional needs. Personally, acts of service soared to the top once I became a parent (and with it, my husband’s need for quality time).
• Healing Past Wounds or Evolving Emotional Needs: Working through trauma can significantly change the way we receive love. For example, someone experiencing insecurity, pain, or high levels of stress might value words of affirmation above all else. With time and healing, those needs can shift.
• Relationship Dynamics: As your relationship matures, so does your love. Check in often with your partner to see if any new preferences have developed. Make it fun by offering love in various languages and see which ones they respond to the most—and vice versa.

It’s helpful to take inventory with yourself and your partner about once a year to help ensure that you’re both giving and receiving love in the most meaningful way.

Final Thoughts

Understanding and applying the love languages can transform your relationship. It’s not just about knowing your own language but actively learning to “speak” your partner’s. When both people feel seen and valued, love grows deeper, stronger, and more intentional.

This post was last updated on April 3, 2025 to include new insights.

The post The Five Love Languages, Explained—Which One Are You? appeared first on Camille Styles.

Your sex life absent from the bedroom? Let’s talk about it. Between the demands of motherhood, work, and simply being human, it’s no surprise intimacy takes a backseat. And while it’s easy to dismiss it as just another item on your never-ending to-do list, it can be frustrating when you’re craving that spark. Low sex drive in women is often swept under the rug, creating a double-edged sword: It leaves us feeling isolated and unsure of how to address it. But it isn’t something to quietly endure. The truth is, our libido is complex. It’s influenced by everything from hormones to diet. The good news? You can take small, sustainable steps to nurture your body, mind, and relationship—sans pressure. It’s time to gently rekindle intimacy on your terms.

Feature image by Michelle Nash.

Understanding the Two Types of Sexual Desire: Spontaneous vs. Responsive

If you’ve ever wondered why your sex drive doesn’t kick in like it used to, you’re not alone. For many women, arousal doesn’t just appear out of thin air. It needs the right conditions. In other words, a common misconception is that desire should always be spontaneous—a spur of the moment flame. But in reality, there are two main types of sexual desire: spontaneous and responsive.

Spontaneous Desire: The “In the Mood” Type

Spontaneous desire is what we often see portrayed in movies and media—it’s that natural, out-of-nowhere urge for intimacy. This type of desire tends to be more common in men, but some women experience it too. It’s when sexual thoughts pop into your head (randomly), or you feel aroused without any external trigger. While spontaneous desire can be exciting, it’s not the only way to experience a fulfilling sex life. In fact, if you don’t feel that spontaneous desire, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you! It simply means you respond to intimacy in a different way.

Responsive Desire: The “Warm-Up” Type

Responsive desire, on the other hand, doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It builds. For many women, desire kicks in after intimacy begins (rather than before). This means you might not feel “in the mood” initially, but once you engage in physical closeness, desire starts to surface. Recognizing this cue is incredibly empowering. Instead of waiting for a lightning bolt of passion to strike, you can focus on creating moments of connection that allow intimacy to unfold naturally.

Why This Matters for Low Sex Drive

In other words, if you’ve been feeling disconnected from your libido, a low sex drive might not be to blame. Instead, your arousal is responsive rather than spontaneous. Instead of waiting for desire to magically appear, focus on intentional steps that invite connection:

• Prioritize non-sexual touch, like hugs and back rubs (if it isn’t already, make physical affection a daily habit!).
• Set the stage for intimacy with an environment that feels safe and relaxed.
• Communicate with your partner about what helps you feel connected.

Ultimately, understanding your desire type takes the pressure off, allowing you to embrace intimacy in a way that works for you.

Why Does Sexual Arrousal Fluctuate?

Contrary to popular belief, your sexual desire isn’t an on-off switch. It’s more like a dimmer—one that responds to life’s many inputs. With that in mind, these are the most common factors behind low sex drive:

1. Hormonal Changes

Hormones are the backbone of libido. And when they’re out of balance, desire takes a hit. If you’re postpartum, breastfeeding, navigating perimenopause, or dealing with conditions like PCOS, shifts in estrogen, testosterone, and prolactin play a role. For example, low estrogen can lead to vaginal dryness and discomfort, while imbalanced testosterone can leave you feeling meh about intimacy.

How to Support Your Hormones:

• Eat foods rich in healthy fats (avocados, nuts, and omega-3s) to support hormone production.
• Try seed cycling to naturally balance estrogen and progesterone.
• If postpartum, give yourself grace—hormones take time to recalibrate.

2. Stress and Mental Load

Ever noticed that when your to-do list is overflowing, sex is the last thing on your mind? That’s because stress increases cortisol levels, which typically suppresses libido. If the mental load of managing a household, kids, work, and personal has left you depleted, start by giving yourself grace.

How to Reduce Stress and Create Space for Intimacy:

• Prioritize rest. Sleep is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for hormonal balance and overall well-being.
• Practice mindfulness. Deep breathing, meditation, or even a short walk outside can calm the nervous system.
• Delegate when possible. If you’re doing it all, it’s time to ask for help (without guilt).

3. Relationship Dynamics

Of course, a fulfilling sex life isn’t just about physical attraction. It’s deeply tied to emotional connection as well. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, resentment has built up, or communication is lacking, desire may dwindle.

Ways to Reconnect with Your Partner:

• Schedule intentional time together. This doesn’t mean forced “date nights.” It can be as simple as drinking coffee together in the morning.
• Communicate openly. Expressing what you need (without pressure or blame) can help bridge emotional gaps.
• Prioritize physical touch. A simple hug or cuddling can foster intimacy without expectations.

4. Nutritional Deficiencies

As a nutrition consultant, I can tell you that your diet influences everything—libido included. A diet lacking in essential nutrients can contribute to fatigue, hormonal imbalances, and even poor circulation (which affects arousal!).

Libido-Boosting Nutrition Tips:

• Focus on protein, fiber, and healthy fats. These stabilize blood sugar and prevent energy crashes.
• Incorporate zinc-rich foods. Found in pumpkin seeds and oysters, zinc supports sexual function.
• Stay hydrated. Dehydration can lead to fatigue, which is the ultimate libido killer.

5. Underlying Health Conditions

Last but not least, thyroid disorders, PCOS, insulin resistance, and even certain medications (like antidepressants or birth control) can impact sex drive. If you’ve been struggling for several months, chat with your healthcare provider to rule out any underlying issues.

When to Seek Support:

• If your low sex drive is affecting your relationship or personal well-being.
• If you suspect hormonal imbalances or nutrient deficiencies.
• If you’re experiencing pain or discomfort during intimacy.

Embracing a New Perspective on Sexual Desire

Your libido isn’t broken—it just needs care, attention, and the right conditions to thrive. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to “fix” it, think of it as an invitation to reconnect with your body and what makes you feel good! Whether that means prioritizing self-care, addressing stress, or nourishing yourself with the right foods, know this: You deserve to feel vibrant, confident, and connected—both with yourself and your partner. And if sex isn’t a priority right now? That’s okay, too. Give yourself permission to meet your body where it’s at, knowing that desire ebbs and flows, just like every other part of life.

Edie Horstman

Edie is the founder of nutrition coaching business, Wellness with Edie. With her background and expertise, she specializes in women’s health, including fertility, hormone balance, and postpartum wellness.

The post More Than Just Hormones: How to Reconnect With Your Sex Drive appeared first on Camille Styles.

My sister introduced me to the concept. “We have a weekly marriage meeting every Sunday night,” she shared. “Just to check in with each other and get on the same page.” Immediately intrigued, I asked her to send me her agenda and announced to my husband that our first official marriage meeting would be this Sunday—don’t be late. To my surprise, he raised his eyebrows in curious interest. “Sure. Sounds good,” he said.

That Sunday, we sat down at the dining table. I pulled up the questions, and we started talking. He was totally game, and the further we got into it, the more we realized what we’d been missing. We talk all the time, but this was different. There was intention behind it—a framework that guided us through meaningful conversations, from who was taking the kids to the dentist to why I felt completely overwhelmed by 5 p.m. every day. It was an antidote to my mental load.

Featured image from our interview with Claire Zinnecker.

There’s been plenty of discourse about whether a weekly couples meeting is just the “corporatization” of marriage. An administrative meeting with your partner? Could you be less sexy? I see that same skepticism in the eyes of friends in their early years of marriage when they ask me about healthy communication.

But in our case, our weekly meeting is anything but unsexy. If anything, it’s become one of our strongest relationship habits—consistently deepening our intimacy. It gives us a set time to look each other in the eye, listen fully, and be heard without distraction. Yes, we talk every day, but this sit-down creates space for everything from logistics to emotions without bringing down the vibe. It sets us up for a week where we’re aligned as partners, teammates, parents, and lovers. More than anything, it’s been the linchpin of our relationship—and, by extension, our family.

These meetings began to breathe life into our relationship and set us up for a week where we were on the same page logistically and emotionally.

Let’s be clear—having a weekly marriage meeting doesn’t mean we never argue or that our relationship is suddenly “perfect,” whatever that means. We’ve even skipped a few Sundays in favor of a Netflix binge, and that doesn’t mean we’ve failed. The point of the meeting is to strengthen our connection—and to recognize when it’s time to dive back in.

What Is a Marriage Meeting?

A marriage meeting is a regular, intentional time to pause and connect with your partner. It’s a chance to check in, encourage one another, and nurture a relationship that is healthy, romantic, and full of joy. And when your mental load feels overwhelming, this is how you create space for each other.

Intentionally noticing your partner’s actions throughout the week is the foundation of deeper connection—and romance.

Putting intention behind noticing your partner’s actions during the week is a breeding ground for romance.

The Benefits of a Weekly Marriage Meeting

I could write pages on why these meetings work, but let’s keep it simple:

• It deepens intimacy. Relationships evolve constantly, and there’s always something new to learn. Weekly check-ins create space for meaningful conversations—intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical. They also help manage logistics. Because if you have kids, you know how quickly a romantic date-night chat can turn into a discussion about soccer schedules and dentist appointments. The meeting gives those conversations a home, so they don’t take over every interaction.
• It helps prevent conflict. Regular meetings keep you aligned, set clear expectations for the week, and provide a space to discuss unresolved issues before they escalate.
• It keeps the romance alive. Consistent communication fights complacency and prevents “roommate syndrome.” These meetings aren’t just about logistics—they create opportunities for connection on every level.

How to Hold a Marriage Meeting

1. Schedule It Weekly

Pick a day and time, put it on the calendar, and stick to it. Make it a habit.

2. Choose a Comfortable Spot

Sit together on the couch or at the dining table—somewhere you can focus on each other.

3. Limit Distractions

Turn off notifications. If you have kids, schedule the meeting when they’re asleep.

4. Bring Your Tools

Have access to calendars or planning apps. Jot down notes if needed.

5. Keep It Short

A quick check-in makes it an easy habit to maintain. But full disclosure? My husband and I always say, “Let’s do this fast so we can watch Netflix,” and somehow, we end up talking way past 30 minutes. Sometimes because we need to. Sometimes because we want to. And sometimes… because we suddenly feel like skipping Netflix for other reasons.

Above all, this meeting should never feel like a chore. If it does, reframe it: This is what you vowed to do. It’s how you nurture your relationship. The key? Make it enjoyable and share the responsibility. While one partner may take the lead at first, over time, you’ll both look forward to this time together.

Marriage Meeting Questions + Agenda

Rather than sticking to a rigid script, I recommend selecting a few questions from the list below, along with a couple that might feel a little challenging. You never know which one might open a new door in your relationship.

I keep a running note on my phone with questions and discussion points. It’s a living document that shifts with the seasons of our relationship. Sometimes, I’ll jot down our answers—especially when we’re working toward a shared goal or supporting each other in personal or career growth. But most of the time, we simply open the floor and talk.

1. Start With Gratitude

Set the tone with appreciation. Gratitude is powerful—especially when directed toward your partner.

Take turns sharing specific things you appreciated from the past week. A few examples:

• Thanks for making the kids’ lunches at night—it made our mornings so much smoother.
• I really appreciated you handling that bill when I was stressed.
• It was so sweet of you to pick up my favorite drink on your way home.

Bonus: When you focus on what your partner does rather than what they don’t do, it naturally creates more connection and affection. And when you feel appreciated, you’re more likely to show up for each other in meaningful ways.

Give a compliment, too—especially a physical one. “Your bedhead was ridiculously cute this morning,” or “The way you wore that dress…” Science backs this up: the more you intentionally notice and appreciate your partner, the more attractive they become.

2. Talk Logistics

Now that you’re feeling connected, move on to the practical stuff. But keep it brief—otherwise, logistics can take over.

• What’s on your schedule this week? Compare calendars. Flag appointments, school activities, or anything that needs planning.
• Who’s handling what? Divide tasks like school pickups, household chores, or errands.
• What are your top work priorities? This gives insight into each other’s week and sets expectations.
• How are we doing financially? A quick check-in on money goals, spending, or upcoming expenses.

If a topic sparks conflict, table it for a separate conversation.

3. Plan Ahead

Building a life together should be fun. And life is always more fun when you have happy things to look forward to. It’s easy to talk about it, so here is where you dig into the doing. Use this time to intentionally build fun and play into your life.

• Schedule date nights. Do you have a standing date night? Put it on the calendar. If you have kids, schedule solo time with them, too.
• Plan personal rest days. My husband and I each take a quarterly rest day—guilt-free. It’s a chance to recharge and do whatever we want solo. If the idea of taking four days a year for yourself feels impossible, it’s worth asking why.
• Plan fun things together. Family outings, vacations, time with friends—make sure these moments don’t get lost in the shuffle.

4. Address Challenges and Connect

This is your space to check in on deeper topics. Start small and build trust over time—think of it like a muscle that strengthens with practice.

• Any unresolved conflict? Approach this as a team, with a problem-solving mindset.
• Check in on parenting. Any challenges or behavior issues with your kids? How can you support each other in parenting?
• Spiritual check-in. This can mean many things—is God speaking to you this week? Have you had any revelations through journaling? Just let it open the door for conversation.
• How can I support (or serve or encourage) you this week? A simple but powerful question that builds a foundation of partnership.
• Check in on your sex life. Being mindful about intimacy in a structured setting removes awkwardness and ensures the conversation happens regularly. You might be surprised by what your partner shares.

Closing the Meeting

End on a meaningful note. Maybe you:

• Make a promise to each other for the week.
• Set a shared intention.
• Say a prayer together.
• Answer a lighthearted or intimate question.

And finally—show some affection. Have you heard about the benefits of a 20-second hug? Research shows that holding each other for 20 seconds releases oxytocin (aka the “cuddle hormone”) and reduces stress. Try it—you’ll literally feel your body relax. You could also high-five. Or kiss. Or… well, you get the idea. Whichever way you close out your meeting, make sure it ends with a connection. You’ll be glad you did.

The Power of a Weekly Couples Meeting

At its core, a marriage meeting is about prioritizing each other—creating space for connection, communication, and intentionality in your relationship. It’s not about achieving perfection or eliminating conflict, but rather building a strong foundation where both partners feel seen, supported, and aligned.

Through these weekly check-ins, you create a rhythm of appreciation, shared responsibility, and deeper intimacy. From expressing gratitude to planning for the week ahead, these meetings ensure that the small, everyday moments don’t get lost in the shuffle. And while they may start as a structured practice, over time, they become second nature—something you both look forward to as a way to stay connected amidst the busyness of life.

So whether you start with a few simple questions or dive in with a full agenda, the key is consistency. Treat this time as a gift to your relationship—one that not only strengthens your partnership but also enriches your family and the life you’re building together.

This post was last updated on March 6, 2025 to include new insights.

The post My Marriage is Stronger Than Ever Thanks to This Sunday Night Routine appeared first on Camille Styles.

If stress has you feeling distant from your partner and disconnected from your own body, you’re not alone. Chronic stress is one of the biggest mood-killers when it comes to sex and libido, throwing your hormones out of sync and making it harder to feel desire. When stress takes over, your body prioritizes survival over pleasure, flooding your system with cortisol and adrenaline—two key players in suppressing arousal. The result? A sluggish libido, difficulty getting in the mood, and a sense of disconnection from intimacy.

Stress and a low libido go hand in hand—like PB&J, but make it Barbie and Ken running on zero sleep, drowning in to-do lists, and wearing sweats (the unsexy kind). When stress hijacks your nervous system, it disrupts the delicate balance of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone—hormones that fuel sexual desire. But here’s the good news: by understanding the link between stress and libido, you can take steps to regulate your body’s response and reignite your desire. Let’s dig in.

Lauren Zielinski, MSN, CNM

Lauren Zielinski is a certified nurse-midwife with over 11 years of experience in women’s health and birth. She studied medicine at The University of Colorado-Denver with a focus on community health and birth center work.

The Science Behind Stress and Libido

The hormonal shift caused by stress doesn’t just impact your physical desire—it can also affect your emotional connection. If you’ve ever felt irritable, overwhelmed, or simply checked out after a long day, know it’s not just in your head. Understanding the physiological link between stress and libido is the first step in reclaiming your connection to pleasure.

How Stress Disrupts Your Sex Hormones

When stress takes over, your body releases cortisol and adrenaline to help you push through. In small doses, this is normal. (Even beneficial!) But when stress becomes chronic, these hormones stay elevated, leading to a cascade of imbalances. High cortisol levels suppress estrogen and testosterone, leaving you feeling disconnected from your body’s natural cues for intimacy.

On top of that, stress impacts neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which are responsible for feelings of pleasure and relaxation. The result? You’re left exhausted, restless, and unmotivated when it comes to intimacy. The good news: by addressing stress at its source, you can restore balance and reignite your natural desire.

Proven Ways to Reduce Stress and Boost Libido

While stress may feel inevitable, there are simple, science-backed strategies to help you reset. The key is to activate the parasympathetic nervous system—your body’s “rest and digest” mode—which counteracts the effects of stress and supports healthy hormone levels. Prioritizing movement, mindfulness, and quality sleep can help lower cortisol, increase oxytocin, and create the conditions for desire to return naturally.

The best part? These strategies don’t just enhance libido—they help you feel more present, connected, and at ease in all areas of life.

1. Practice the Power of Physical Touch

Even when you’re not in the mood, physical touch can be a powerful tool for reducing stress and reigniting connection. Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or cuddling release oxytocin—the “love hormone”—which helps lower cortisol and increase feelings of intimacy.

If stress has created distance between you and your partner, start small. Non-sexual touch, like a massage or gentle caress, can help rebuild a sense of closeness without pressure. Over time, this can create a natural pathway back to desire.

2. Move Your Body to Lower Stress and Increase Desire

Exercise is one of the most effective ways to lower stress and support a healthy libido. Movement reduces cortisol levels while increasing endorphins, dopamine, and testosterone—all of which contribute to energy, mood, and sexual desire.

The best workout? The one that feels good to you. Whether it’s yoga, a brisk walk, or strength training, consistent movement helps regulate stress hormones and keeps your body feeling strong and responsive. Bonus: breaking a sweat together with your partner can boost connection and create a sense of shared excitement.

Read more: A Trainer Swears By Low-Impact Exercise—Steal Her Weekly Workout Split

3. Prioritize Sleep for a Healthy Sex Drive

If stress has been keeping you up at night, it’s no surprise that your libido is suffering too. Sleep is essential for hormone regulation, and even one restless night can throw things off balance. Research shows that well-rested individuals experience higher levels of testosterone and estrogen—both crucial for maintaining desire and arousal.

To support healthy sleep (and in turn, a thriving libido), establish a nighttime routine that signals to your body it’s time to unwind. Limit screen time before bed, create a calming environment, and prioritize relaxation techniques like reading or deep breathing.

4. Breathe Your Way to Less Stress (and More Pleasure)

Breathwork and meditation are powerful tools for calming the nervous system and enhancing intimacy. Shallow, rapid breathing is a common stress response, keeping the body in a heightened state of alertness. By shifting to slow, deep breaths, you signal safety to your body—lowering cortisol and creating space for pleasure to return.

Try this simple practice: inhale deeply through your nose for four counts, hold for four, then exhale slowly for eight counts. This not only reduces stress but also increases blood flow, making it easier to feel present in your body. The more relaxed you are, the more receptive you’ll be to desire and intimacy.

The Takeaway

Incorporating simple, intentional strategies to manage stress can have a profound impact on both your well-being and intimacy. By prioritizing movement, sleep, and connection, you can nurture a healthier relationship with your body and partner. Remember, small shifts—like taking a deep breath or sharing a gentle touch—can make all the difference in restoring balance and reigniting desire. Take the time to slow down, and your body will thank you for it, reconnecting you to pleasure and presence.

The post Is Stress Sabotaging Your Sex Life? appeared first on Camille Styles.

If you’ve entered your 40s, you may find your sex life has shifted—in subtle or significant ways. Between fluctuating hormones, the juggling act of everyday life, and the natural ebb and flow of desire, it’s common for intimacy to take a backseat. But one thing’s for sure: sex in your 40s doesn’t have to be any less vibrant or fulfilling. In fact, it can be mind-blowing. It’s a time to rediscover intimacy, connect on a deeper level with your partner, and embrace this new chapter with curiosity. Not convinced? We’re sharing our top tips to keep the spark alive in your 40s, including nurturing emotional intimacy and (most importantly!) keeping it playful.

Embracing New Passions and Desires

Contrary to stereotypes, your 40s aren’t a downhill slide. They’re a powerful opportunity to reconnect with yourself. This decade is a chance to embrace new passions and rediscover your desires. While sex may not look (or feel) like it did in your 30s, this is your moment to redefine what intimacy means to you. And if you’re noticing some shifts in your body, don’t fret. This is normal. Let’s explore how different phases of life—such as postpartum, perimenopause, and times of high stress—can impact libido and intimacy, and how to work in tandem with these changes.

What Causes Sex in Your 4os to Shift?

Sex in your 40s can evolve for several reasons—both physical and emotional. These are a few common causes:

1. Hormonal fluctuations: As you enter perimenopause, estrogen and testosterone levels fluctuate, which impacts libido and causes vaginal dryness/discomfort during sex.
2. Physical shifts: Age-related changes in your body (I.e. muscle tone, skin elasticity, and circulation) affect both desire and physical satisfaction during sex.
3. Life experiences: Between raising children, managing careers, and dealing with stress, it’s easy to have little emotional energy for intimacy (thus contributing to how you feel in sexual moments).
4. Changes in priorities: As we get older, our life priorities shift. Many of us are less focused on the physical aspect of sex and more on emotional connection, trust, and vulnerability.
5. Relationship dynamics: If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you’ll notice that sexual chemistry ebbs and flows. Reconnecting and maintaining intimacy may require extra effort.
6. Postpartum and child-rearing: For those who have children later in life, the demands of postpartum recovery and parenting can drain both physical and emotional energy, which may temporarily affect your desire for intimacy.
7. Health conditions: Certain health issues—stress, diabetes, or thyroid imbalances—can also play a role in changes to your sexual health.
8. Mental health: Last but not least, anxiety, depression, or body image issues affect libido. A shift in mental well-being (at any stage of adulthood) will influence how you feel about intimacy.

Postpartum & Early 40s: Navigating the Early Transition

Are you embracing motherhood later in life? We love this. But if you know, you know: Postpartum in your 40s is a bit more complex. It’s not just a time of physical recovery and emotional adjustment. You’re also navigating postpartum intimacy in a new way. Inevitably, it’s common to experience a dip in libido as your energy is focused elsewhere and your hormone levels are in flux. Instead of focusing solely on sex, consider connecting with your partner in different ways. For example, don’t underestimate the power of taking a hot yoga class together! Ultimately, slowly reintroducing physical closeness will pave the path back to a vibrant and fulfilling sex life.

Perimenopause: Understanding the Hormonal Rollercoaster

Perimenopause is a wild ride. As your body prepares for menopause, hormones fluctuate, impacting everything from your energy to your libido. It’s not just about hot flashes and mood swings; intimacy may feel unpredictable too. If your desire is inconsistent, remember: This too shall pass. Instead of getting frustrated, use this as a chance to reconnect with your partner in alternative ways. Be patient as you explore different forms of intimacy—whether through more affection, finding new experiences to connect, or simply talking about what you need. A deeper, more satisfying rhythm is within reach.

How Does Stress Affects Intimacy?

Whether it’s a career change, family obligations, or the stress of balancing multiple responsibilities, life in your 40s often brings its own set of pressures. Stress is a known libido killer, as it triggers the release of cortisol. And this is two-pronged: it dampens your desire for sex and creates emotional distance in relationships. One of the most important things you can do to nurture your sex life during stressful times is to find ways to reduce stress. Mindfulness, yoga, and simple relaxation techniques (journaling, etc.) are key. Ultimately, maintaining open and vulnerable communication with your partner will help foster understanding and closeness.

Creating a Vibrant Sex Life in Your 40s: 5 Tips for Nurturing Intimacy

So, how can we make space for intimacy in your busy life? Creating a vibrant sex life in your 40s is all about nurturing connection, communication, and self-awareness. These five tips will help you embrace intimacy in a way that feels fulfilling, fun, and aligned with where you are right now.

1. Communicate openly with your partner

This is crucial. Talk about your desires, needs, and any changes you’re experiencing. Creating an environment where both of you can express yourselves without pressure or guilt is key to maintaining a strong emotional and physical connection.

2. Prioritize self-care

Taking care of your body—through regular exercise, a balanced diet, and good sleep—can improve your physical and emotional health. In turn, you’ll feel more confident and ready to embrace intimacy.

3. Experiment with new forms of intimacy

Whether it’s through exploring different types of touch, trying new sexual practices, or just enjoying quiet moments together, find what makes you and your partner feel connected, loved, and seen.

4. Focus on emotional closeness

To reiterate, intimacy isn’t always about physical touch—it’s about sharing your thoughts, supporting each other, and creating a space where both of you feel emotionally safe. Strengthening your emotional bond (through your respective love languages) can lead to deeper intimacy in all areas of your relationship.

5. Be patient with yourself

The journey of intimacy is fluid and ever-changing. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way you did at a different time in your life. Give yourself grace, and trust that your needs will evolve, too.

Embracing This Chapter with Confidence

Sex in your 40s isn’t about trying to recreate the past—it’s about embracing the present. This decade is an opportunity to explore what intimacy means to you now and to prioritize pleasure on your terms. Yes, your hormones are shifting, but that doesn’t mean your sex life has to suffer. Instead, with open communication, self-awareness, and a willingness to adapt, it can become even more fulfilling. Whether you’re navigating postpartum changes, perimenopause, or a busy life, remember: Intimacy is a journey. Give yourself permission to experience pleasure (because your 40s are just the beginning!).

Edie Horstman

Edie is the founder of nutrition coaching business, Wellness with Edie. With her background and expertise, she specializes in women’s health, including fertility, hormone balance, and postpartum wellness.

The post Sex In Your 40s: Embrace the Power of Pleasure appeared first on Camille Styles.

In long-term relationships, a comforting routine often settles in. The excitement of nights out fades, and we find joy in the simple pleasures of quiet evenings spent at home. To make these moments truly meaningful, it’s important to incorporate the right questions for intimacy that can deepen your connection and spark conversations that truly matter.

A night in with your partner can be one of the most intimate and rewarding experiences—especially when it’s approached with intention. Set the mood with soft lighting, your favorite playlist, and a conversation that feels both thoughtful and engaging. Asking the right questions for intimacy has the power to transform any ordinary evening into something extraordinary, fostering a deeper understanding and bond. To help you make the most of your time together, I’ve curated 50 questions for intimacy to guide your conversation—from lighthearted icebreakers to more reflective questions that invite vulnerability and closeness.

Featured image from our interview with Sarah and Blake Smith by Michelle Nash.

Why Intimacy Is Important in Relationships

True intimacy goes beyond physical closeness—it’s about creating a space where both partners feel seen, heard, and understood. In long-term relationships, it’s easy for the day-to-day routines to take over, leaving deeper conversations by the wayside. Without intentional intimacy, even quiet moments together can begin to feel mundane. By nurturing intimacy, you strengthen the emotional bond that serves as the foundation of your relationship, helping both of you feel more connected and supported through life’s ups and downs.

Building intimacy transforms spending time together into time that’s meaningful. Thoughtful conversation helps you uncover each other’s desires, fears, and dreams, deepening your emotional connection. Whether you’re asking lighthearted questions or diving into more profound topics, these moments of openness can enhance the richness of your relationship. By prioritizing intimacy, you’re investing in a relationship that feels alive, full of understanding, and deeply connected.

50 Intimate Questions to Ask Your Partner

Here’s your reminder: Dating your partner can be more than overpriced dinners or expensive gifts. With the right mindset, intention, and questions, setting aside these special moments can deepen your love and bring a renewed perspective to your relationship.

Similar to the famed “36 Questions to Fall in Love,” these questions for intimacy are divided into five sets, each one becoming more personal and meaningful. Start with the lighter questions and let your conversation evolve as you go. May these questions help you grow closer and create space for a kismet unfolding. Because no matter how you spend your Friday night, connection should always be at the heart of your time together.

Questions for Intimacy: Level 1

1. Would you like to be famous? What would you want to be famous for?

2. What does the perfect day look like to you? How would you spend it?

3. What song always makes you think of me?

4. If we could travel anywhere right now, where would you choose and why?

5. What movie do you think would reflect our relationship?

6. If you didn’t have to work, what would you do with your life?

7. How do you feel our careers affect our relationship?

8. What thing/object/activity always brings you joy?

9. Describe what love looks and feels like to you.

10. What are three qualities about me that you were first attracted to?

Questions for Intimacy: Level 2

11. How do you feel is the best way to confront a problem?

12. How do you like to show love?

13. How do you like to be shown love?

14. What country do you think is the most romantic?

15. What do you remember from when we were falling in love?

16. When have you felt the most proud of me?

17. Out of the five senses, which is the most sensual to you?

18. What is my sexiest feature?

19. Is there anything you’re afraid to accomplish that I can help you with?

20. What makes our relationship strong?

Questions for Intimacy: Level 3

21. What makes you feel the most loved?

22. Share a time you felt embarrassed.

23. If we met again for the first time, but with all the knowledge of our relationship up to now, what would you want to say to me?

24. What would your younger self think of our relationship?

25. What is the best way I can make you feel loved?

26. What’s a question you’ve always wanted to ask me but never have?

27. If you could relive one day together, which would it be?

28. What’s your favorite memory of us?

29. Is our relationship physical enough for you? What would make it better in your eyes?

30. What is the best part of our relationship?

Questions for Intimacy: Level 4

31. If you could, what would you have changed about your childhood?

32. What is one thing that you’re afraid to tell anyone else?

33. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Why?

34. How and where do you like to be touched?

35. Do you have any fantasies you would like fulfilled?

36. What is the closest you’ve ever felt to me?

37. Is there anything we haven’t tried that you’d like to?

38. What difference do we have that makes us complementary?

39. Share a time when our differences helped us understand each other.

40. What aspect of our relationship do you feel would be important to teach others?

Questions for Intimacy: Level 5

41. What is your biggest regret?

42. How and when did you know we’d make it as a couple?

43. What is a fear we’ve never talked about?

44. What do you feel is your biggest weakness? How can I support you with that?

45. What was something your younger self lacked that you know or can do now?

46. What have you learned about relationships from your parents?

47. Can you describe a moment when you felt truly alive?

48. What do you feel is the most important component of a family?

49. Where do you see yourself in five years?

50. Do you think it’s true that love is more than just a feeling?

The Takeaway

As you explore these questions with your partner, remember that the real magic lies not in how many questions you answer, but in the connections you create. Intimacy is about sharing experiences, deepening understanding, and fostering closeness. While these conversations can transform an ordinary night into something special, there are plenty of other ways to make your time together important.

If you’re looking for more ways to connect, check out our unique Valentine’s Day ideas, explore affordable date night options, or indulge in a night out at the best restaurants in Austin. However you spend your time together, remember that the key is always prioritizing your bond and connection.

The post Build a Stronger Bond: 50 Intimate Questions for Your Next Quiet Night In appeared first on Camille Styles.

I’ve always understood good sex to include an orgasm and a connection with the person I’m sleeping with. But what is mindful sex? It’s something much deeper. It’s about being fully present in the moment—engaging with your body, your emotions, and your partner’s energy without distractions. Great mindful sex is spiritually, physically, and mentally illuminating for everyone involved. I leave the experience feeling capable and empowered, my body flooded with electric confetti.

When I started having great mindful sex (which began when I turned 40), I noticed a shift in other areas of my life. Work felt more fulfilling, and my friendships became more meaningful. I wanted to take better care of my body and mind. I swear I started walking a little taller, too. As I’ve continued to feel this way at 41, I’ve realized the gist: When you have mindful sex, the bliss extends beyond the sheets. Because mindful sex is more than just an enjoyable addition to life—it’s a portal to better health, deeper self-connection, and stronger relationships.

Featured image from our interview with Remi Ishizuka by Michelle Nash.

What Is Mindful Sex? A Deep Dive into Its Meaning and Benefits

But as incredible as mindful sex is, it can also be an enigma. Lack of connection, health issues, stigmatization, and many other things can get in our way. This is why we need to talk about it more and more. So I called on two brilliant minds in this space, Cindy Barshop, founder of VSPOT, a women’s intimate and sexual clinic, and Dr. Monica Grover, a double board-certified gynecologist and VSPOT Chief Medical Officer, to talk about women’s intimate health. Below, they share why mindful sex is so critical and how we can have it.

Because when we have the mindful sex that we want and we talk about it openly—look out. We’re capable of anything.

Why Women Need More Intimate and Sexual Care Support

“We’re just starting to understand how many things impact women’s intimate lives today,” Barshop tells me. Too many women aren’t enjoying the intimacy and connection they deserve. “Sex doesn’t feel good,” she adds. “It’s like, let’s do it and move on to the next thing.” This is why Barshop founded VSPOT: to give women a place to openly talk about their sexual and intimate health concerns and needs without judgment and to connect with a resource for treatment. “You would not believe how many women have sex and intimacy issues—and we are not discussing this enough.”

How often do we take the time to focus on ourselves, our self-care, and what makes us happy? — Dr. Monica Grover

Additionally, women deserve more than just 10 minutes in the doctor’s office, which is so common in Western medicine today. “It’s a shame,” says Dr. Gordon. “Not only do women feel hesitant to speak about some of these conditions in a typical doctor’s office scenario, but doctors are not even allowed to listen.” We need the room, freedom, and support to fully vent, ask, and learn about what makes us feel sexually great. 

How Mindful Sex Impacts Our Lives

Mindful sex is more than sex. It’s an avenue for so many more profound things in our lives. But too often, it gets pushed aside and “clouded,” says Dr. Grover. “Women find it as a chore, or it’s painful, or something they’re not looking forward to” because of life stressors, health conditions, menopause, or more.

This is to our detriment because sex makes us feel good. “It’s physiological,” adds Dr. Grover. “When we have an orgasm, we release all of these happy neurotransmitters—oxytocin, norepinephrine, dopamine, serotonin—everything that makes us feel great about ourselves.” Add to that, having mindful sex may help ward off certain illnesses and ailments. “We should be focused on our sexual health because that helps with depression.” Plus, research shows that sex can improve productivity. 

Barshop puts it best: “Great sex makes your body stronger and healthier. It changes everything.”

How to Have Great, Mindful Sex

In my conversation with Barshop and Dr. Grover, I came away with three takeaways for how to nourish our sexual lives:

#1: We must be bold at the doctor’s office and discuss our sexual frustrations and desires.

“Open up these conversations,” says Dr. Grover. “Say, ‘I’m here because I want to talk about the fact that I have vaginal dryness or I can’t have an orgasm. This is my chief complaint.’ Get the doctors uncomfortable because that’s the only way to open up more awareness around this.”

#2: Mindful sex can be with others or just ourselves.

Whatever it looks like for you, dive into the incredible products available today, from vibrators to lubricants, that encourage more flow to any scenario. “You don’t need a partner,” says Dr. Grover. “Sometimes it’s even better on your own!” 

#3: If you have hiccups around your sexual wellness, you’re not alone.

There is a growing community revolutionizing sexual health outside the medical world—including Barshop and Dr. Grover’s work at VSPOT. “Now we have a place where we can spend an hour with you and look at all the solutions,” says Dr. Grover. “We can give women the tools, so they can find that happiness again when they go home.”

The Takeaway

So, what is mindful sex? It’s all about truly connecting with your body and emotions, fully experiencing intimacy in a conscious and meaningful way. When we practice mindful sex, we not only improve our physical health, but we also nurture our emotional well-being and strengthen our connections with others.

Through honesty and conviction, let’s start to normalize and prioritize sexual wellness so we can all have more mindful sex—and feel empowered in everything we want to do. 

The post Beyond the Bedroom—Why Great Sex Makes for a Great Life (and Good Health) appeared first on Camille Styles.

I’ll preface this piece with the self-awareness that by no means am I a relationship expert. As a matter of fact, every single thing I’m about to outline I have either failed at or could stand to improve in. I’d venture to guess you might fall into one of the two categories as well, because—hello, we’re human.

As I think about what makes a relationship truly thrive, I recall the various conversations and tools I’ve received from individual and couples therapy, not to mention any relationship-focused book or podcast I’ve digested. It always comes back to the question, how strong is the foundation?

With a secure and solid foundation, a relationship is poised to grow. We all know establishing healthy habits with movement, nutrition, and sleep is crucial to feeling our best, and the same is true for relationships. Implementing core habits helps establish the building blocks for trust, intimacy, and lasting connection.

Featured image by Michelle Nash.

What Are Healthy Relationship Habits?

Think of these as daily actions or behaviors that promote mutual respect, trust, and emotional well-being. These habits shape the tone and strength of a relationship over time with consistency and the ability to shift and pivot as needed. In any relationship I’ve been in, I’ve felt most secure and solid when consistency was a priority.

Read on for 8 Key Healthy Relationship Habits

Prioritize Communication

I think we can all relate to this one. Anytime I’ve had a misunderstanding or conflict in a relationship, I can usually point back to a lack of communication. We’re not always going to get this right, but as long as we make it a priority and learn how we can be better with our partner, we’ll move in the right direction.

• Schedule regular check-ins to discuss feelings, needs, and concerns.
• Practice active listening: hear to understand, not to respond. Repeat what you heard your partner say so you’re sure you’ve heard them. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification.
• Use “I” statements to express emotions without blame.

Practice Gratitude

We have to celebrate the wins, too. Who doesn’t love hearing when something you’ve done was well-received or you’ve made their day?

• Express appreciation for both big gestures and small actions. Tell your partner how they made you feel, don’t hide it.
• Create a gratitude ritual, like sharing one thing you’re thankful for daily. In my last relationship, every month on a set day we sent one another a list of things we appreciated and loved about our partner. It started as a joke and turned into a little love letter to each other, which kept the spark alive.

Maintain Individuality

It’s so important to have your own thing outside of your relationship. If you’ve listened to or read anything by Ester Perel, you know that she preaches this sentiment often. We cannot be everything to our partner. As someone who is highly independent and requires space and alone time to recharge outside of the relationship, this one is crucial for me.

• Encourage personal growth by pursuing hobbies and interests independently.
• Respect boundaries and give each other space when needed.

Prioritize Quality Time Together

Let’s face it—life can get hectic as we juggle work, kids, and moving schedules. But quality time can mean something different to each of us. Even if we only have 30 minutes in a day to spend together, think about how you can use that time to be the most present within it. One of my favorite things my last partner and I did while I was on the road traveling, was to carve out just five minutes to FaceTime and stay connected. Sometimes, it doesn’t take much to have a significant impact.

• Plan intentional date nights or shared activities without distractions.
• Be present by unplugging from phones and other interruptions.

Build Emotional Intimacy

I’ve loved when my partners have opened up and shared more about their life, sharing how or why they feel a certain way, or big life goals they have—and I’ve loved when I’ve felt safe to do the same. It always makes me feel more connected to develop that respect for each other’s heart.

• Share vulnerabilities and dreams to deepen your bond.
• Develop rituals, like morning coffee chats or evening walks, to connect daily.

Resolve Conflicts Constructively

Next to prioritizing communication, this might be the second-most important habit to understand and evolve in. Conflict is inevitable; how we navigate conflict determines the quality and health of the relationship. I’ve appreciated how Julie and John Gottman of The Gottman Institute approach “fighting right” and ensuring conflict leads to compassion for and connection with one another.

• Approach disagreements with curiosity instead of defensiveness.
• Focus on solutions rather than assigning blame.
• Remember: You’re a team.
• Take breaks during heated arguments to cool off and gain perspective.

Celebrate Wins Together

I don’t know about you, but in my relationships, your wins are my wins and vice versa. I love it when my partner shines and soars, and I want the same sentiment reciprocated. This, to me, is what it feels like to be a part of a team.

• Acknowledge achievements, milestones, and everyday victories as a team.
• Celebrate both individual and shared successes to foster mutual support.

Focus on Physical Intimacy

Physical touch might not be your love language, but it’s important to be able to communicate our intimacy needs and how we can best meet them for one another. Prioritize this in your communication and weekly or daily check-ins. It’s ok to share what is working for you and what isn’t, so long as you’re approaching this with kindness and curiosity, and even some levity.

• Maintain touch through hugs, hand-holding, and affection.
• Communicate openly about physical needs and desires.

Why Healthy Habits Matter in the Long Run

We all want to feel safe in our relationships. Healthy habits provide a secure foundation for emotional and physical vulnerability. They do a great job at preventing resentment and misunderstandings by fostering open dialogue, which strengthens the relationship’s ability to navigate challenges together.

Tips for Building Healthy Relationship Habits

• Start small: Incorporate one or two habits at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
• Be consistent: Commit to daily or weekly practices to make habits stick.
• Adapt over time: Reassess and evolve habits as your relationship grows and changes.

How to Handle Setbacks

We won’t always get it right. We’ll fumble, have a bad day, revert to less-than-favorable behavior and completely miss the mark. When that happens, remember:

1. Be forgiving: Understand that progress is not always linear.
2. Communicate openly: Talk through challenges and reaffirm your commitment to growth. Communication is important, but affirmation goes just as far.
3. Seek help when needed: Consider therapy or counseling for added support. Couples’ therapy greatly helped me to understand my partner’s point of view. Having someone neutral guide us through conflict was game-changing and gave us new tools to approach future obstacles ourselves.

One of my favorite Instagram follows is author Yung Pueblo, who just wrote about his “5 Irreplaceable Lessons from 9 Years of Marriage” in a recent Substack. He focused on humility in the post, but it was his first takeaway that resonated most. He said:

“The main thing all relationships need is balance. Both people should be giving and receiving. If one person is doing all the emotional heavy lifting, all the forgiving, all the problem-solving and leading, then things will start to turn sideways for the relationship. You both should feel like equals in the relationship. Even though you both have different strengths and preferences, you should both feel that your power is helping design the culture of what love looks like in your home. You are both leaders in your relationship, even if that leadership looks different for each of you.”

Intentionally making time and space to cultivate these healthy habits will give your relationship this balance that Pueblo references. Starting small, communicating often, and pivoting as needed will build a foundation that allows your relationship to grow and thrive, which we all want and deserve.

The post How to Build Healthy Habits for a Strong Relationship appeared first on Camille Styles.

I have no shortage of polarizing opinions, and I’m about to hit you with my most striking: I love a first date. It’s a rare moment of openness, offering a chance to truly connect with someone new. There’s a certain thrill in stepping beyond the surface to share experiences, exchange ideas, and explore different perspectives. In that spirit, the best questions to ask on a first date should arise organically—gentle prompts that naturally lead you beneath the exterior, inviting a deeper conversation and a fuller understanding of the person sitting in front of you.

With time, first dates have become far less anxiety-inducing for me. (Though, if nerves occasionally get the best of you, that’s OK! Embrace the butterflies as a delightful and thrilling part of life.) Over the years, I’ve realized that life is best approached with a mindset of curiosity. When we acknowledge that everyone around us is navigating their own unique blend of struggles and joys, it becomes much easier—and far less intimidating—to connect authentically. In this light, the best questions to ask on a first date become invaluable tools, allowing us to explore the depths of those who cross our paths.

Featured image from our interview with Claire Zinnecker by Michelle Nash.

50 Thoughtful Questions to Ask on a First Date

As with any meaningful connection, the heart of a great first date lies in the quality of the conversation. It’s about the subtle exchanges that reveal the person behind the smile. First dates offer an invitation to lean into our curiosity, to ask questions that reveal both the lightness and the depth of someone’s story. When we approach these moments with open minds, the most insightful questions to ask on a first date will not only uncover shared interests but also allow room for vulnerability, making the experience all the more genuine.

Getting to Know Each Other

Who hasn’t said they hate small talk? (Raises hand… ) However, beneath its surface lies the potential for meaningful conversation. Thoughtful questions can reveal the stories, values, and experiences that shape a person’s identity. Small talk can be a catalyst for uncovering the complexities that often go unnoticed in our everyday exchanges. Whether it’s a favorite book or a cherished memory, these questions can lead to so much more.

1. What’s the best book you’ve read recently?

2. How would you describe your perfect day?

3. What’s something you’re passionate about?

4. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

5. Do you have a favorite childhood memory that still makes you smile?

6. What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend?

7. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?

8. What’s the most unusual job you’ve ever had?

9. Who or what inspires you the most?

10. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Personal Interests and Hobbies

Our hobbies and interests reveal the passions that drive our everyday lives. These questions invite your date to share what excites them—from favorite activities to guilty pleasures. By asking about hobbies, you open the door to a conversation that feels both fun and revealing.

11. Do you have a hobby you’re completely obsessed with?

12. Are you into podcasts or audiobooks? Any recommendations?

13. What’s your go-to comfort food?

14. Do you enjoy cooking, or would you rather eat out?

15. How do you like to unwind after a long day?

16. If you could only watch one genre of movies or shows for the rest of your life, what would it be?

17. Do you enjoy any outdoor activities or sports?

18. What’s the most exciting place you’ve traveled to so far?

19. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

20. What’s one skill you’d love to master?

Life Values and Beliefs

Sometimes, you want to quickly cut to the heart of what matters, from relationships and personal success to how we cope with life’s challenges. These conversations offer insight into a person’s character, revealing their deeper motivations and how they navigate the world.

21. What’s something you think is often misunderstood about you?

22. What values are most important to you in a relationship?

23. How do you define success?

24. Do you believe in soulmates, or do you think love is more about timing and effort?

25. How do you handle stress or pressure in your life?

26. What’s your view on work-life balance?

27. What’s a cause or social issue you care deeply about?

28. Do you think you’re more of an optimist or a realist?

29. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?

30. How do you deal with challenges or setbacks?

Fun and Lighthearted Questions to Ask on a First Date

I love a little playfulness on a first date, helping the other person relax and enjoy the moment. Whether it’s imagining dinner with a fictional character or revealing a hidden talent, these questions are all about letting their quirky side shine. They set the stage for laughter and an effortless flow to the conversation.

31. If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?

32. What’s your guilty pleasure TV show or movie?

33. Do you have a hidden talent or something unusual you’re good at?

34. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

35. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

36. What’s your favorite way to make someone laugh?

37. Do you have any weird or funny family traditions?

38. What’s your idea of the perfect date night?

39. If you could time travel, where and when would you go?

40. What’s the craziest adventure you’ve ever been on?

Future Goals and Ambitions

Without making it seem like a job interview, I’m always curious about a person’s values and aspirations. What’s their vision for the future, from personal milestones to career goals? Rather than making them feel like they’re being tested, these questions reveal what drives them. By exploring their ambitions, you open the door to a thoughtful conversation about purpose, growth, and the path they see ahead.

41. What’s one goal you’ve set for yourself this year?

42. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

43. Where do you see yourself in five years?

44. What’s something you’d like to accomplish before you turn 40? (You can tailor this question based on their age.)

45. What’s the next big thing you want to learn or try?

46. Do you have any long-term dreams you’re working toward?

47. How do you stay motivated to reach your goals?

48. If money and time weren’t an issue, what would you do with your life?

49. What’s your biggest career aspiration?

50. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?

The Takeaway

At the heart of every great first date is the art of meaningful conversation. The best questions to ask are those that move beyond the surface-level, offering a chance to truly get to know a unique human being. By embracing curiosity and vulnerability, we can create an atmosphere of openness where authentic connections emerge and grow. Anything might happen from there.

The post 50 Thoughtful First Date Questions That Skip the Small Talk appeared first on Camille Styles.

Sexual wellness has entered the chat. It’s time we talk about it openly. Because let’s be real—our sexual health is an essential part of our humanity. It doesn’t magically stop at a certain age! From navigating birth control in your 20s to embracing the freedom of menopause in your 50s, every decade offers a new chapter in sexual health. Yet—so many of us feel like we’re supposed to keep quiet about what’s normal (or struggle naively). The truth is, our bodies deserve understanding at every stage of life. Sexual wellness is a journey. It’s time to own our sensuality and celebrate every stage with confidence.

Embracing Sexual Health Through the Decades

As we move through life, our sexual needs, and desires may shift. This is normal. Each decade brings new challenges, opportunities, and a deeper understanding of our bodies (and desires!). Whether you’re just starting to explore your sexual health in your 20s—or are knee-deep in the changes that come with perimenopause—each chapter deserves attention and grace. With that in mind, let’s dive into how sexual wellness evolves with age. Consider this your roadmap to more informed health.

Sexual Wellness in Your 20s: Finding Your Rhythm

Ah, the 20s—full of exploration and curiosity. It’s the decade when many of us start to form a relationship with our sexuality, and it’s important to lay a solid foundation for healthy habits and advocation.

Navigating Birth Control Options

Birth control top of mind? You’re not alone. But here’s the thing: birth control isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. In fact, you may not need (or want) it at all! There are a variety of natural alternatives, like tracking your fertility via an app or your basal body temp. Chat with your healthcare provider to determine the best fit (especially if you’re navigating a hormonal imbalance).

Establishing Healthy Habits

This is also the time to focus on STI prevention and safe sex practices. Regular check-ups, honest conversations with partners, and understanding your sexual health are key to building trust and intimacy.

Hormonal Health and Libido

Hormones are busy little workers in your 20s. They influence everything from your mood to your libido. Factors like diet and sleep can significantly shift how your sexual energy shows up. If you’re feeling “off,” it’s worth paying attention to how habits—coffee consumption, unstable blood sugar, etc.—take a toll. While hormonal fluctuations are normal, certain symptoms aren’t: an irregular cycle, painful periods, or unexpected mood/body changes. These things often signal the need for a closer look.

Sexual Wellness in Your 30s: Balancing Life, Love, and Fertility

Welcome to your 30s—the decade when life begins feeling more like a game of priorities. In turn, your sexual health starts to show new patterns.

Fertility Considerations

It’s no secret that fertility shifts in our 30s. But it’s not nearly as dire as we’re lead to believe! If you’re planning to get pregnant, now’s the time to optimize your reproductive health. In the 3-6 months before trying to conceive, focus on a nutrient-rich diet, moderate exercise, stress management, and quality sleep. Start taking a prenatal and track your cycle to identify your most fertile days.

If you’re not ready to have children but want to preserve options for the future, you may want to explore egg freezing.

Postpartum Sexual Health

For those raising kids, postpartum is an integral chapter of this decade. As a mom of two, it’s a journey (to say the least). Often overlooked, giving birth doesn’t just impact your body—it shifts your libido, too. Hormonal fluctuations, breastfeeding, and the demands of caring for a newborn often affect sexual desire. Inevitably, intimacy will look different as you reconnect with your partner and yourself.

Balancing Career, Parenthood, and Relationships

Making time for intimacy in your 30s can feel like walking a tightrope. Whether or not you have children, it’s easy for connection to take a backseat. But prioritizing moments with your partner—whether it’s a planned outing or simply cooking together—helps keep the bond alive. It’s about cherishing the relationship you have with yourself, your partner, and your body.

Sexual Wellness in Your 40s: Perimenopause, Confidence, and Rediscovery

In our 40s, perimenopause takes the spotlight, and the body enters a new phase of growth and transformation. But don’t panic—this stage is about rediscovery, self-empowerment, and embracing the beautiful evolution of your sexual health.

Perimenopause and Hormonal Shifts

If you’re unfamiliar with perimenopause, it’s the transition period leading up to menopause. Women experience changes in their menstrual cycle, hot flashes, and a shift in libido. Some women find that they lose interest in sex, while others feel a surge of energy. There’s no “normal” here, so it’s helpful to stay in tune with what feels right for you.

Rediscovering Sexual Confidence

Allow perimenopause to be a time of redefining intimacy. Use this to your advantage! It might be helpful to reconnect with your body in new ways—perhaps exploring new kinds of touch, or even experimenting with different forms of intimacy. This is an exciting phase for rediscovery, and for many women, sexual confidence reaches new heights during this stage.

If vaginal dryness or other symptoms arise, consider trying lubricants or chatting with your healthcare provider about hormone replacement therapy (HRT). There are solutions available to keep you feeling confident and comfortable.

Health Screenings and Prevention

Of course, regular check-ups are very important during your 40s. Stay on top of your gynecological exams, mammograms, and pelvic health. Catching any issues early means that you can address them with your healthcare provider, ensuring that your sexual wellness remains a priority.

Sexual Wellness Beyond Your 50s: Embracing Intimacy Without Barriers

Heading into our 50s (60s, and beyond), the body becomes a source of strength and wisdom. And no, it doesn’t mean sexual wellness should be left behind! In fact, this stage can be incredibly liberating. It’s an opportunity to embrace new, fulfilling ways of experiencing intimacy.

Menopause and Beyond

Menopause will bring an end to your menstrual cycles, and for many women, it’s a time of freedom. But it also brings challenges, like changes in vaginal health and libido. While your hormones take a dip, your capacity for pleasure doesn’t have to. Solutions like vaginal moisturizers, pelvic floor exercises, or even hormone therapy can help you feel more comfortable and confident.

Intimacy Without Barriers

As you explore intimacy without the concerns of pregnancy, sex can be more about emotional connection, pleasure, and creativity. This is the stage where many women report having the most satisfying sexual experiences, as they’re more in tune with their own bodies and less worried about societal expectations.

Prioritizing Emotional Connection

Physical arousal might shift, but emotional connection becomes even more important. Strengthening the bond you share with your partner, whether through communication, shared experiences, or just enjoying quiet moments together, is key to feeling fulfilled in this stage of life.

Empowering Yourself at Every Stage

To bring this full circle, sexual wellness is a dynamic experience—not a fixed destination. As each decade comes to a close, the connection to your own sexuality doesn’t have to fade. In fact, it can grow stronger. Each stage of life offers opportunities to embrace your body’s changing needs, discover new ways of connecting, and prioritize self-care. No matter your age, remember: you’re worthy of pleasure and intimacy (whatever that looks like to you!). Cheers to a lifetime of self-discovery.

Edie Horstman

Edie is the founder of nutrition coaching business, Wellness with Edie. With her background and expertise, she specializes in women’s health, including fertility, hormone balance, and postpartum wellness.

The post Your Roadmap to Sexual Wellness At Every Age appeared first on Camille Styles.

When the second week of February rolls around each year, Adam and I inevitably look at each other a little bewildered and ask, “So… what should we do for Valentine’s Day?” Most of the traditional ideas can feel a little cheesy (not to mention overpriced), so I’m always on the hunt for unique Valentine’s Day ideas that still feel romantic and special.

I remember the first year we celebrated Valentine’s Day as a couple. We cooked a really fancy dinner at Adam’s place, complete with steak and chocolate soufflés. It was so memorable that we’ve tried to do something outside the box every year since. Whether you’re coupled up or single, keep scrolling for 41 unique Valentine’s Day ideas that will ensure your holiday is actually fun, with no clichés in sight.

41 Unique Valentine’s Day Ideas to Try This Year

1. Go to a drive-in concert. Bonus points for dressing up and bringing your own lawn chairs and snacks.

2. Screen a romantic movie. Create a private theater at home complete with a projector—and of course, all the snacks. Just add popcorn, Raisinets, and two pairs of cozy socks.

3. Go roller skating. Or ice skating. The goal here is to channel your favorite hand-holding scene in just about every classic rom-com.

4. Host a karaoke night in your living room. This personally sounds like my vision of hell, but I know it’s right up some of your alleys. Plus, if you were born with the voice of an angel, this could be a great strategy for making them fall in love with you on the spot.

5. Take an early morning hike to watch the sunrise. I know, I know—sounds kind of painful. But there’s nothing more magical than watching the sun come up. Plus, getting up that early to break a sweat is a total bonding experience.

6. Take a virtual cooking class. Bonding over pots of marinara and pans of tiramisu? Sign me up! When it comes to unique Valentine’s Day ideas, food is always a good idea.

7. Put together care packages for the homeless. Stuff paper bags or shoe boxes with food, water, socks, hand wipes, etc., and keep them in your car for the next time you drive past someone in need. It’s pretty cool to see your S.O. serving others and dedicating their free time to a worthy cause. You’ll likely fall in love with each other all over again.

8. Host an at-home art night. Whether this means sketching in an adult coloring book, making a collage of your favorite photos together, or streaming a documentary, it’s sure to get your creative juices flowing.

9. Schedule a tasting at a winery or brewery. There’s nothing better than a trip to your favorite spot. Or, if you want a more low-key experience at home, buy three bottles of wine: one that is $25, one that is $15, and one that is $10. Cover the bottles in foil and mix them around, then try to guess which is which! It’s pretty surprising sometimes.

10. Pick up your favorite take-out and drive to a scenic location for stargazing. When was the last time you and your S.O. looked at the stars together? There’s something about gazing at the nighttime sky that reminds us of the vastness of the universe—and how lucky you are to have found each other in it.

11. Camp it up. While a get-lost-in-the-woods date can be just the adventure many of us are looking for, there are others who’d rather camp out in the living room. Whether you were a scout in a past life or have never spent a night in the great outdoors, there are plenty of ways to tailor this date for a magical evening (hello, glamping). Just don’t forget the marshmallows.

12. Take a virtual dance class. Check out YouTube instructors that offer salsa or swing instruction. Perfect your dance moves for the next time you go to a wedding or a country bar.

13. Recreate your first date. For Adam and me, this would involve a dive-y Chinese restaurant, Peking Duck, and one too many glasses of chardonnay. If you’ve been together a long time, you’ll undoubtedly have fun laughing about those early days, and it may even be a valuable reminder of why you fell so deeply in love in the first place. Be creative about how to recreate your dates at home! Pick up takeout from the restaurant, dim the lights, use tablecloths, or any unique aspects that a specific restaurant has.

14. Take a “staycation” at a favorite local hotel. I think every couple should splurge once in a while and spend the night away, even when a full-blown vacation isn’t in the cards. Order room service, watch a movie, jump in the hot tub, and sleep in.

15. Pack a picnic and bike ride to somewhere special together. There is something so special about riding bikes together to a special spot to indulge in a picnic together. Pack your favorite cheeses with dips and snacks in a picnic basket—don’t forget the bottle of wine!

16. Make breakfast in bed. Nothing beats feeding each other bites of pancakes while you’re snuggled under the covers. Whether you want something healthy and vibrant or are craving your favorite comfort food (again, pancakes), as long as you’re getting in the kitchen together and sharing a meal, you really can’t go wrong with this date.

17. Travel by train. This idea might be a little more involved, but it’s nothing a little planning can’t make happen. Train travel lets you take in your surrounding sights in the most relaxing way possible. You don’t even have to set out with a specific destination in mind—it’s all about the journey.

18. Theme your date night. Date nights are great and all, but when you center it around a specific theme, you can immerse yourself in a whole new experience. And, of course, nothing says romance like a little jaunt to France. Want all the Parisian vibes without having to get on a plane? Make a playlist of all your favorite French music, plan a French-ified menu, and transform your dining room into the chicest French restaurant, no matter where you are.

19. Make a vision board. Sharing your dreams and setting the foundation for future plans to come is the ultimate way to connect. You can each create your own vision board or collaborate on one together. It’s a fun and inspiring process and can guide conversations for what you each want for yourselves and your shared goals as a couple. For steps on how to get started, check out our guide to vision boarding.

20. Ask questions designed to build intimacy. These 50 questions are designed to help deepen your relationship. Trust us, you’ll spend all night reflecting on them.

21. Explore a local bookstore. You don’t have to be a bookworm for this to be a best-ever date (although, bonus points if you are). Head out and browse the stacks! Select a read for yourself or pick one for your partner. When you get home, curl up on the couch and read side-by-side. Nothing like a little literature to set the mood.

22. Read your favorite “Modern Love” stories. Who else skims Sunday’s Style section for these vignettes of real-life romance and heartbreak? If you’re already a fan, help your partner get on board. Pick an essay from the archives and take turns reading them to each other. You’ll get a glimpse into a life unlike your own, as each story is a window into unique perspectives on, and experiences with, love.

23. Get competitive. Game night anyone? Care to challenge your S.O. to a round of tennis? Whatever your competition of choice, gear up! There’s nothing like a little healthy competition to get the sparks flying.

24. Bake a new recipe together. PSA: Valentine’s Day dessert doesn’t have to involve chocolate. In fact, some of the best draw upon unique flavors and clever spins on classics. This is one of those unique Valentine’s Day ideas with endless possibilities.

25. Recreate each other’s favorite cocktails/mocktails. Even if you don’t consider yourself a mixologist, you can have a little fun getting creative at your home bar. Ask (or guess!) each other’s favorite drinks and make them at home. It’s a kind gesture that will make them—and you—feel seen in your tastes and preferences.

26. Play Esther Perel’s conversation game, “Where Should We Begin?” With prompts like “Share something that’s changed your worldview” and questions that ask you to share what’s been keeping you up at night, trust that there’s no holding back. Get your copy here.

27. Write a letter to your S.O. for them to open next year. Who wouldn’t love receiving a letter that took you back to where your relationship was the year prior? Reflect on your feelings, thoughts, and what you love most about them in this moment. It’s a touching gesture and one that you’re both likely to keep stored in your dressers forever.

28. Find out each other’s enneagram. If you haven’t heard, intentional personality tests are back. (Key word being “intentional”—there’s nothing hokey about them.) Discovering each other’s enneagrams is an eye-opening way to dive deeper into what makes your partner tick. Learn all about the enneagram—and what it says about your personality.

29. … or uncover your love languages. If you haven’t done a deep dive yet, understanding the love languages (and knowing which best describes you and your partner) provides insight into how you each give and receive love. Consult our guide to all the love languages.

30. Try your hand at pottery. This can be a fun (and sometimes messy) way to get to know your S.O. and express yourselves in a non-conventional way. Plus, air-dry clay is inexpensive and makes for a fun at-home experience.

31. Enjoy a couples massage. Everyone comes out of this activity winning. A massage also won’t occupy your entire day, but you’re sure to feel your best after! *We’re obsessed with the treatments at Milk + Honey spa. They have several locations in Austin and around the country, and you can use code CAMILLE15 when you book to get 15% off any treatment.*

32. Scrapbook. Taking a walk down memory lane is always a great way to reconnect on Valentine’s day. Start a scrapbook with any pictures you have lying around, or print some beforehand and get comfy.

33. Watch (or go to) a comedy show. What’s better than laughing until your stomach hurts? Comedy shows are a great conversation starter, and you’ll be sure to come out of it with a smile.

34. Get outside. Even simply taking a stroll around the neighborhood or walking your furry friend can be a great way to spend quality time together. Bonus points if you keep your phones off.

35. Visit somewhere new. It doesn’t have to be a cross-country trip, but driving 30+ minutes can be a great way to experience some novelty. Maybe you find your new favorite coffee shop or a local boutique. Either way, this adventure falls into the category of unique Valentine’s Day ideas that won’t leave you bored.

36. Have a rock, paper, scissors night. This trend originated on TikTok and involves you playing rock, paper, scissors to decide the events of the evening. Whoever wins gets to choose the next stop, and the game can go on for as many places as you’d like to visit.

37. Have an at-home spa night. A spa of any kind is a great way to relax and feel rejuvenated with your partner. Whip out that gua sha that’s been collecting dust and prep for a little zen.

38. Catch a theater performance or ballet. If you’re into the arts, check your local theaters for performances on or around Valentine’s Day.

39. Learn a new skill. Pickleball is still trending—why not give it a try as a unique Valentine’s Day idea? If you’re not feeling sporty, pick something you and your partner have always wanted to dabble in and spend the day trying it.

40. Do the thing that brought you together. Did your first date involve competitive mini-golfing? Or maybe it was cooking at home. Wherever the spark originated, spend Valentine’s Day reconnecting by doing exactly that.

41. Take a luxurious trip. Sure, some years, we keep the holiday casual. Others? We like to lean into a little luxury. I’ve heard amazing things about Kohler Village in Wisconsin, and this year, they’re embracing the theme of indulgence with their Celebration of Chocolate. Book a stay for you and your S.O. and enjoy everything from ice skating to curated wine pairings to yes—plenty of chocolate.

42. Cook dinner at home: Surprise them with a curated dinner of all their favorite things. If you really want to elevate the experience, create custom menus and a gorgeous table.

43. Send a special delivery to their office: Add a cryptic surprise about plans for the evening.

43. Write “Things I Love About You” Notes: Write ’em down and hide them throughout the day—their lunch, cell phone charger, etc.

44. Frame something unexpected: Are you a couple that collects matchbooks, receipts from a first date, concert tickets, photos, or menus? Frame something from your favorite time with your partner and surprise them.

45. Write your partner a poem: Slide it into their work bag as a surprise or give it to them in person.

46. Do some random acts of kindness together: Buy a dozen roses and leave them on people’s windshields, or pop into a coffee shop and pre-buy coffees to make someone’s day.

47. Try a workshop together: Time to step outside your comfort zone and try something new? Make candles, take a country line dance class, or find a cooking class for fun.

48. Make a scavenger hunt: Channel your creativity and make this uniquely about your relationship – clues on where you had your first date, your first kiss, anything that speaks to you as a couple.

49. Plan a surprise evening date: Each of you has to plan one portion of the evening. For instance, you take where to book dinner and your partner plans the after-dinner plans. 

50. Go bowling and grab a no-reservations dinner: Pick a fun spot in town that doesn’t take reservations or offers a fancy pre-fixe and go out for an evening of Bowling and Dinner.  

The post 50 Unique Valentine’s Day Ideas for Every Love Language appeared first on Camille Styles.

Let’s face it: who doesn’t want a healthy sex drive? After all, an active sex drive is linked to pleasure (duh!), pain relief, bladder control, better sleep, and more. Of course, a robust sex life also increases intimacy with your partner. Win, win, win. That said, it’s totally normal to feel fluctuations in your libido. In fact, you may be in the thick of a dry spell. Don’t fret—there are many ways to spice up your sex life! Including, meditation. But when it comes to improving your sex drive, you also want to consider your diet.

After all, passion requires sustained energy. Plus, no one wants digestive woes in the bedroom. Are you limiting foods like sugar and inflammatory oils? Are you minimizing your alcohol intake? All of these things impact your sexual desire. Without further ado, let’s dig into foods that increase libido.

Featured image from our interview with Sanetra Nere Longno by Michelle Nash.

Edie Horstman

Edie is the founder of nutrition coaching business, Wellness with Edie. With her background and expertise, she specializes in women’s health, including fertility, hormone balance, and postpartum wellness.

Benefits of a Healthy Sex Life

Studies show that sex is extremely beneficial to our health. Sex activates a variety of neurotransmitters that impact not only our brains but several other organs in our bodies. In other words, the perks of sex expand well beyond the bedroom. For women, the benefits of a healthy sex life can include:

• Healthier immune system
• Strong pelvic floor (helpful for avoiding incontinence)
• Lower blood pressure
• Better heart health, including a lower risk for heart attack
• Improved self-esteem
• Decreased depression and anxiety
• Increased libido
• Better sleep
• Overall stress reduction

What contributes to a strong sexual desire?

What controls our libido (also called our sex drive) is actually a very complex web of biological, psychological, and social-cultural influences. Our hormones play a major role, too. All of these things come together to create the sex drive. A strong sexual desire can be correlated to routine exercise, high dopamine levels, reasonable self-esteem, normal testosterone, and eating foods that increase sex drive.

On the flip side, libido levels can be negatively affected by alcohol, drugs, anxiety, disease, fatigue, menopause, life circumstances, history of sexual abuse, religious traditions, and more.

Yes, It’s Normal For Your Libido to Fluctuate

Just as every person’s taste buds, cravings, and appetites differ, so does sex drive. We are all unique in this world—our sex drives are a reflection of our bio-individuality. Unsurprisingly, it’s well understood that libido varies between men and women. But it also fluctuates across seasons of our lives. Ultimately, your libido depends on a multitude of factors. Think: age, hormone levels, quality of life, and attraction to your partner (physical and emotional).

We can’t put a number—or name—to what a “normal” libido is. And having a low libido doesn’t necessarily qualify as a chronic illness. However, chat with your healthcare provider if you think you have a low libido. Ultimately, you have the power to decide how you feel about your own sex drive—as well as how it’s affecting your relationship. This goes without saying, but comparison is the thief of joy. What you see on HBO isn’t reality. Your sex life, your standards.

A Nutritious Diet Can Increase Your Libido

Having a healthy sex drive is linked to feeling physically and emotionally healthy, so it’s no surprise that the foods you eat play a role in boosting your sex life. While foods that increase sex drive can play a role in a robust sexual desire, most of the research has less to do with libido and more to do with sexual performance.

At any rate, a nutritious diet can benefit your sex life in many ways, including improving your stamina in the bedroom. Furthermore, eating a diet rich in vegetables and lean proteins—and low in foods that contain sugar and saturated fat—can also help prevent disorders that affect your libido.

15 Foods That Increase Libido

Without sounding like a broken record, what you put into your body determines how well it functions. By filling your body with unhealthy foods, inflammatory oils, and blood sugar-wrecking ingredients, sexual health takes a nosedive. Instead, focus on foods that increase libido. These are foods rich in zinc, antioxidants, B vitamins, and heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids.

1. Oysters

While no scientific studies prove that oysters stimulate desire, they have been considered a natural aphrodisiac for hundreds of years. They’re widely known to increase sex drive and desire! Reason being, oysters are high in zinc. This compound increases blood flow, which may aid in blood flow to sex organs. Zinc—which is found in an array of animal and plant-based foods—may be especially important in male fertility, as it helps regulate testosterone levels. Can’t stand oysters? Clams will do!

Recipe: CRU’s Classic Cocktail Sauce & Horseradish Créme Fraîche

2. Chicken

Eating high-quality animal protein, such as beef, chicken, and pork, can help improve your sex drive (thanks to their compounds of specific amino acids). Foods high in protein can improve blood flow, such as L-arginine and zinc. Of course, smooth blood flow is crucial for a strong sexual response as well as getting the blood flowing to the right ­places.

Recipe: Grilled Yogurt-Marinated Chicken with All the Herbs

3. Salmon

Best known for its essential fatty acids and omega-3s, salmon’s nutritious fats help maintain a healthy heart and to prevent plaque build-up in our arteries. As a result, blood can flow smoothly, which in turn keeps your sex drive thriving. Omega-3s can also raise dopamine levels in the brain, triggering arousal. When possible, choose wild-caught salmon.

Recipe: Grilled Salmon with Stone Fruit Salsa

4. Nuts

Cashews, almonds, and walnuts are chock-full of zinc—along with L-arginine—to get your blood flowing. Walnuts are doubly helpful, as they are also rich in omega-3s. Omega-3 fatty acids are linked to dopamine production, which helps improve libido.

Recipe: Easy Grain-Free Granola

5. Seeds

Here at Camille Styles, we love our seeds. Along with helping balance hormones, seeds contain vitamins and minerals that can help increase your sexual function. For example: pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, flaxseeds, and chia seeds. In fact, chia seeds are known to increase male libido. These have been shown to boost testosterone, naturally, thanks to the essential fatty acids that serve as building blocks for hormones.

Flax, on the other hand, is known to increase libido in women. Flaxseeds contain phytoestrogens that act very similarly to female hormones that are linked to a healthy sex life. Flax can be beneficial for women who have low estrogen levels, such as those experiencing menopause.

Recipe: Get Figgy With It Smoothie

6. Apples

Apples are rich in a compound called quercetin, an antioxidant known to promote blood circulation, treat erectile dysfunction, and manage low libido. In fact, this study reported a 14% reduction in erectile dysfunction in males who had a higher fruit intake. This may be due to their flavonoid content. In females, high blood pressure can lead to a lower libido and less interest in sex, particularly if it causes fatigue. Furthermore, low blood flow to the vagina can affect how their body responds to sexual activity. Overall, a diet rich in flavonoids can boost your overall health and keep your sex life healthy.

Recipe: Apple Walnut Salad

7. Beets

Next on the list of foods that increase libido: beets. Beetroot is rich in antioxidants and vitamins—a healthful addition to any diet. They’re also high in dietary nitrates, which means they could help boost your sex life. In essence, dietary nitrates expand the blood vessels, a process known as vasodilation, which improves blood flow. This has beneficial effects on muscle contraction. Because of this, some athletes use nitrates to boost performance (in and out of the bedroom).

Recipe: Grapefruit, Avocado, and Golden Beet Salad with Crunchy Chickpeas and Feta

8. Raspberries

Like apples, raspberries are rich in flavonoids. This phytochemical-rich (and blood sugar-friendly!) food may enhance both libido and sexual endurance. Raspberries are loaded with zinc, which is essential for sex. Women with appropriate levels of zinc have a high desire for sex. In males, zinc controls testosterone levels and also helps in sperm production.

Recipe: Raspberry Cocoa Energy Balls

9. Avocado

Avocados provide numerous benefits, including vitamin E and healthy fats—important for hormonal health. Plus, avocados contain magnesium and a mineral called boron, which studies indicate may benefit testosterone levels. Boron is a trace mineral that seems to influence testosterone metabolism in the body and may protect against testosterone degradation. Furthermore, vitamin E is associated with increased fertility.

Recipe: Avocado Toast with Kale Pesto and Crunchy Veggies

10. Eggs

Egg yolks are rich in healthy fats, protein, and selenium. Selenium, specifically, may help enhance the production of testosterone by activating certain pathways and the expression of certain genes. Eggs are also rich in vitamins B6 and B5. These help balance hormone levels and fight stress—two components that are crucial to a healthy libido.

Eggs are also a symbol of fertility and rebirth. In fact, eating raw chicken eggs prior to sex is said to heighten libido and maximize energy levels. At any rate, eggs are highly nutritious. When possible, choose organic (or, ideally, pasture-raised) eggs.

Recipe: Spring Onion and Goat Cheese Quiche

11. Chocolate

Chocolate is packed with romance-boosting compounds. These compounds include anandamide (the feel good chemical), phenylethylamine (the love chemical that triggers endorphin release), and theobromine (a central nervous system stimulant). Said differently: eating chocolate can increase libido by promoting the release of certain chemicals. Even if its effects are more psychological than biological, we’ll take any excuse to break off a few more squares.

Recipe: Gluten-Free Chocolate Cake

12. Maca

Have you heard of maca? Known as a superfood, maca is a Peruvian root that has long been used to increase strength, stamina, energy, fertility, and libido (for men and women). While research is still needed, maca root may alleviate SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction, including having beneficial effects on libido. Add a dash to your smoothie or coffee and see how you feel.

Recipe: Adaptogenic Hot Chocolate

13. Basil

This Italian herb is known to improve blood circulation, keep blood pressure and cholesterol levels in check, and it’s an excellent source of brain-boosting nutrients—magnesium and flavonoids. As mentioned, ingredients that are good for your heart (and blood flow!) improve libido as well. Basil also has a warming effect on the body, possibly enhancing arousal.

Recipe: Creamy Vegan Pasta with Tomatoes and Basil

14. Extra-Virgin Olive Oil

Olive oil isn’t just famed as a heart-healthy food: it’s also an aphrodisiac. Yes, olive oil can help enhance the female orgasm! It works its magic by triggering the testosterone hormone, which induces sexual desires, thus enhancing orgasms. Research proves it. At any rate, adopting a Mediterranean-style diet can vastly improve your sexual prowess.

Recipe: Spinach and Ricotta Pizza with Garlicky Olive Oil

15. Carrots

Last but not least on the list of foods to increase libido? Carrots. This vegetable is known to help with balancing libido, thanks to its high amounts of beta-carotene. This compound supports the entire endocrine system, thereby supporting libido, boosting metabolism, and strengthening the kidneys. Furthermore, carrots help balance hormones—specifically, estrogen. Carrots contain unique undigestible fibers to help detox excess estrogen from the body.

Recipe: Honey Roasted Carrots with Spicy Citrus, Sage & Pepitas

The post The Sex Drive Diet: 15 Delicious Foods That Could Boost Your Libido appeared first on Camille Styles.

A few years ago, a friend gave me something that amplified my life. “Try this,” she said as she handed me a small box, her mouth turned upward. Inside was a bottle of Foria Awaken Arousal Oil, a product meant to enhance female sexual pleasure, alone or with company. Had I been having sex or even feeling sexual at the time, I would have ripped it open that night. Finding the best lubricants and intimacy oils intrigued me.

It took me a while to try it. When I finally did with my now partner, I felt like I was in the last scene of Fight Club, where Ed Norton holds Helena Bonham Carter’s hand as the buildings fall. Everything I’d known about feeling sexual came crashing down and, in its place, entered a Technicolor world of pleasure to explore. 

The Best Lubricants for Every Desire

“What Foria has done is prioritize female pleasure by deeply understanding what activates it, what keeps it going, and where pleasure comes from,” says Kiana Reeves, chief content officer for Foria Wellness and a somatic sexology and intimacy educator. “We haven’t been taught about how important our arousal is.”

Reeves is answering all my questions about the best lubricants and intimacy oils over Zoom. My queries are rapid-fire. Never have I been more curious about a collection of products. In the past year, intimacy oils and lubricants have catapulted my sex life, I tell her. My orgasms are stronger. My connection to my partner is deeper. Why is that? I ask. 

“It’s helping your body just do what it’s meant to do,” responds Reeves, specifically talking about intimacy oils. “That’s why it’s so powerful. People start to notice the power of their bodies.”

To understand the deeper functioning behind these products, as well as the difference between an intimacy oil and a lubricant, I asked Reeves about it all. (Also, if you’re curious about trying a new product but don’t know how to broach the subject with your partner, read on.)

Your Guide to Intimacy Oils

Nobody had been focusing on female arousal. Our erectile tissue structures are the same as someone with a penis, and they’re dispersed in different areas, but they light up at different times. So someone with a female anatomy has an arousal trajectory that is different from someone with a penis. We focus on female pleasure with these different products and components. One is our Awaken Arousal Oil, which helps to physically get blood flow to the genitals to enhance arousal and pleasure. These active botanicals work to help to get you as aroused as possible. 

In tandem with arousal, which is the physical component of pleasure, you have the desire component. For many people, what gets in the way of their desire is either discomfort, pain, or a feeling that they’re not ready. What our Awaken oil does is it works from the body up. You start to activate your body first. From there, you start to retrain the nervous system and your relationship with sexual pleasure, either with yourself or with a partner. You go, oh, not only does this feel good, it feels amazing!

How do lubricants work?

The vaginal tissues and vulva mucosal membrane need to be wet to enjoy touch, and so there isn’t too much friction. Otherwise, those tender membranes can tear easily. So a lubricant, even if you are naturally a well-lubricated person, is important because it helps protect the integrity of your tissues. Many clients I’ve worked with have experienced numbness, pain, and scar tissue from poorly lubricated sex, either intravaginally or otherwise. 

“What’s so exciting is there’s always more pleasure to explore.” – Kiana Reeves

Studies show that pleasure will increase just by using lube alone for all people involved. So lube is amazing to have on hand. What we did with ours—our Intimacy Sex Oil—is make it the cleanest available because lubes have historically contained chemicals that are bad for the vulva and vagina. Also, our lube is for vaginal and rectal use.

Are there any rules for using an intimacy oil or lubricant?

No rules. The cool thing, and I say this particularly about Awaken because it’s universal for solo play to partner play to party play, is that it’s about understanding that your pleasure is in your own hands. You can notice where you’re at. Maybe you’re not yet highly aroused, so you might massage yourself or have a partner massage you. It’s taking the time to massage the labia, the clitoris, or the thighs. It’s about just being with that part of your body and allowing it to open in its own time. 

Also, the beautiful thing is none of the [Foria] products are gender specific. They’re anatomy-specific because we’re working with a particular anatomy that hasn’t been studied or understood as much as others. 

Editor’s note: Some oils and lubricants are not compatible with certain condoms, so be sure to do your research for what’s important to you and your partner(s).

What to keep in mind when looking for an intimacy or arousal oil and a lubricant

The main thing is that it’s clean and natural. These are still marketing terms where there’s no standard for being able to say “clean.” Look for ingredients you recognize. If they’re plants, are they organic? I would also look for how much education the company is offering. Peruse the website to see if they’re invested in their mission or if they’re making a product because it’s easy and cheap. A brand invested in its mission will be invested in and able to stand by its formulations. On our products, we have a QR code where you can see the batch tests we’ve done, which check for all types of toxins, pesticides, and heavy metals. 

What if someone is curious to try an oil or lube with a partner but they have reservations about suggesting it? What are your tips for starting the conversation?

The larger conversation here is talking about sex with your partner—about what you love and what may be harder to discuss, such as what you want more of, what doesn’t feel so good, or what you’re struggling with. Talking about sex, in general, can be vulnerable, and when you’re bringing in a new product, that’s an added layer. It’s important to know that your partner wants you to feel pleasure—whether or not you are nervous to share with them. And you also want your partner to experience pleasure.

Think of it like the Oreo metaphor, where it’s sandwiched between two wonderful positive things and then the meat of it, which is the question or the desire, is in the middle. You can say positive things like, ‘I love the sex we’re having.’ ‘It feels so amazing.’ ‘You are an amazing lover.’ And then you can say what you’re experiencing or wanting more of. ‘I’m finding that I want to explore more of what my own body’s capable of.’ Or, ‘I haven’t shared this with you, but it’s hard for me to reach climax and here’s what I think might be able to help me.’

Keeping the idea of inviting them in is beneficial for everyone. It’s truly about wanting to explore more with one another.

Shop the Best Lubricants

Foria

Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD

Where it all started for me. This all-natural arousal oil is designed for the female anatomy to enhance pleasure and orgasm—solo or with company.

$48 at Dermstore

Tabu

Aureum Lubricant

This personal lubricant contains a base of aloe vera complemented by plant extracts and hyaluronic acid.

$45 at goop

Dame

Plant-Based Arousal Serum

A blend of mint, cinnamon, and rosemary give this intimate serum a decidedly cool-and-warm sensation.

$29.99 at Target

Vella Bioscience

Women’s Pleasure Serum Set with Gift Pouch

This CBD-infused serum claims to relax vaginal and clitoral smooth muscle tissue to result in more intense and frequent orgasms.

$115 at Neiman Marcus

Lady Suite

Intimate Serum with Tremella Mushroom Extract

This botanical lube was created to supplement a woman’s external moisture and support a healthy vaginal microbiome.

$24 at Lena Rose Beauty

Personal Fave

Whet Serum

A base of aloe and chamomile makes for a pleasure serum meant to be used with a partner and/or toys.

$24 at Personal Fave

Maude

Shine Organic Personal Lubricant

Ph-balanced and made without any fragrances, this clean personal lubricant is safe to use with condoms.

$18 at Nordstrom

Cake

Natural Aloe Lube

Organic and hypoallergenic ingredients blend to make for a lube that’s non-sticky and good for sensitive skin.

$12 at Cake

The post My Sex Life Is Better Than Ever—This Is My Secret appeared first on Camille Styles.